The dildo is almost as old as the natural penis itself. One of the first dildos, the Hohle Fels Phallus, was carved from stone and put to use 28,000 years ago.
Since those times, dildos have only gotten better and better. Today there's thousands of styles and shapes to choose from, so many that it can get a bit overwhelming.
So in this guide, I've rounded up the best dildos humanity has come up with so far. Hopefully you can use this list to find a dong that is the perfect match for your needs!
When it comes to the shape and size of a dildo, the best one is pretty subjective. Everyone has slightly different anatomy and preferences, and it can take some experimenting to find your ideal dildo.
However, there are dildos you should definitely avoid. Dildos made from melted plastic, usually labeled as jelly, TPE, TPR, are considered risky. They leak toxic chemicals, smell awful, and have a porous surface, so they are tough to clean. Porous dildos will absorb bacteria, dust, and fecal matter, and get gunky after a few months.
Sex toys aren't regulated in most countries, including the USA, so shady companies can get away with using unsafe dildo materials. This section will help you learn how to tell the good dildos from the bad.
Jelly dildos are created by melting plastics like PVC (aka Vinyl) and then mixing in chemicals called plasticizers to make it rubbery. After the mixture cools, you get a flubbery Jelly material. You'll sometimes see these dildos labeled as just PVC.
One common jelly dildo ingredient, Phthalates, is banned in children's toys because of its toxicity and long term effects. Because there are no regulations on dildos, some shady companies sell them as "novelties" not intended for internal use, even though that's clearly what people are buying them for.
How To Identify a Jelly Dildo
Jelly Dildo Disadvantages
Jelly Dildo Advantages
I don't have any Jelly dildos I can recommend with a clear conscious. This dildo material is shockingly bad in almost every way. The fumes alone make me feel sick, not to mention the nasty oily grease it leaves on your hands, and in your body.
If you look for dildos on Amazon, you'll see some labeled as TPE and TPR.
TPE stands for thermoplastic elastomer, and TPR means thermoplastic rubber. They both mean the exact same thing and can be used to describe the exact same dildos.
Really, TPE/TPR is just a fancy word for a rubber made from a mix of melted plastic and additives. Almost every rubber dildo that isn't silicone is a type TPE. For example, the Jelly dildos I mentioned above fall under the category of TPE.
Can TPE be safe?
It's possible that some dildos can be made of bio-plastics using organic body-safe plant oils as plasticizers. However, this is unlikely because of the higher cost. Even if a TPE mixture is completely body safe, it is still very porous and impossible to clean.
You'll sometimes see materials like 'Cyberskin', 'Ultraskyn' or 'U3'. These are the company's' name for their TPE recipies, all the actual ingredients in their recipies are a secret unless a lab test is done to determine the exact ingredients used.
Using mystery materials is a gamble, since you don't know what kind of carcinogens the rubber might contain. Generally a dildo that 'sweats' smelly oils is something very dangerous, and should be thrown away. Toys that don't melt will still be porous.
The only rubber material you can 100% trust is platinum-cured silicone from a trusted seller.
Silicone is the queen of dildo materials. It's soft, it's easy to clean, it's non-toxic, and it can be heated to 400 degrees without damage. It also retains body-heat and feels more flesh-like than any other material. The most realistic feeling dildos are all silicone, like the RealCock2, the most realistic dildo ever made.
Characteristics of Silicone Dildos
Silicone Dildo Advantages
Silicone Dildo Disadvantages
Polished Stainless Steel is the smoothest feeling dildo material in existence. It's a material synonymous with the company Njoy, which only makes metal sex toys.
My all-time favorite sex toy is metal; the stainless steel Njoy Purewand is an omnisexual sex toy, which means it's designed for both butts and vaginas.
Another common dildo material is glass. They look pretty, and their ultra smooth surface feels amazing.
Putting glass in your holes might seem extreme, but Glass dildos are made from super-strong borosilicate glass, similar to what is used in pyrex glass cookware. A properly annealed glass dildo can be dropped onto a hard floor and won't chip or break.
Like glass and metal, wood has a solid and smooth feel to it. It's also lighter, which means your arm won't get as fatigued while using it.
Good wooden dildos, like Nobessence, are encapsulated in finishes that are body-safe, super smooth, and waterproof. So you don't have to worry about any unnecessary roughness.
As far as looks go, wood makes for a gorgeous material. Each one is unique and comes from different kinds of hardwood.
With wooden dildos you will find twisting winding shapes that might otherwise be impossible to make with materials like metal and silicone.
Porcelain and ceramic dildos retain temperature very well. You can heat them up and they will stay warm for 10 to 20 minutes.
It's also a body-safe and easy to clean material.
Stone dildos are something you can add to your sex toy collection, and your rock collection.
They are made of highly polished granite and super smooth. One of my favorite companies is Laid, which uses Norwegian black granite in their dildos.
In my post on dildo history, I put together this interactive timeline. You'll learn about how dildos evolved over millennia.
While the exact origins are murky, the most likely source is the Italian word 'dilleto', which means 'a woman's delight', and the Latin word 'diliatare' which means 'to dilate or open wide'.
In the 17th century most dildos in England were imported from Italy, usually illegally. One noble, John Wilmot, ordered dildos for his sexual society, however they were burned at customs. In response, he wrote a poem called Signior Dildo, which pokes fun at how English lovers are so lousy, that women have to turn to dildos to be sexually satisfied.
To help you find your best dildo matches, it helps to look in a category that sounds appealing. I have a different guide a few different popular categories.
The most realistic dildos are meant to look and feel like an actual cock. The RealCock2 (pictured here) uses three layers of silicone for a super lifelike feel, you can even pinch the skin and squeeze the silicone testicles suspended in a silicone scrotum. The RealCock 2 is expensive as heck though ($500). You can get some good realistic dildos for about $30 - $60, too. I list a bunch of choices in my guide to the most realistic dildos.
These are the opposite of realistic dildos. The first non-phallic dildo was the silicone Venus, created in 1977 as a way for the feminist movement to take back the dildo and make it their own. (Before 1977, all dildos were veiny and penis shaped)
40 years later, there's dozens of non-phallic shapes to choose from. From waves, to vegetables, to buddha-shaped dildos, the world of unrealistic dildos is endless.
It's amazing what some ass-tronauts can achieve these days. In this final frontier of dildos, size queens(and kings) conquer monster dildos up to 5 inches wide and 2 feet in length.
Don't expect to tame a football sized dildo overnight. It takes years of anal training and stretching to summit an Everest like Patrick the Ogre (shown in the picture).
You don't have to go that big though. You'll find plenty of pleasure from the bounty of large dildos in each size range.
In our big dildo guide I list some of the best big guys, sorted by their size and price.
I also have a guide on anal dildos. This includes some of the same dildos as the big dildo guide, but includes smaller dildos that are good for anal toy beginners.
I also cover a few tips on how to do anal training. What kinds of lube to use, how to clean out your rectum, and so on.
Some dildos are priceless works of fine art, shown in museums across the world.
The most expensive is the Pearl Royale, a $1.3 million dollar dildo with diamonds, sapphires, and pearls. Maybe it's a bit excessive, but it's a better use of diamonds than something less fuckable, like a luxury watch.
One of my favorites is the Casanova, only $33,000, it has a Mediterranean style and is an homage to one of Venice's most iconic lovers.
You can read more in my post about the most expensive dildos.
Once you immerse yourself in the world of fantasy dildos (or vice versa) you will have an explosion of new creatures to fuck.
There's dragons, aliens, werewolves, unicorns, ogres, ovipositors, vampires, demons, gryphons, more aliens, and just about every creature you can imagine.
Learn more in my post on the best fantasy dildos.
Silicone dildos can be expensive to make. When I make my own the silicone alone costs me $15 for a 6-inch dildo. Not including all the other materials and tools needed.
You can still find good silicone dildos as cheap as $20, and some glass ones even cheaper. In my cheap dildos guide I have a list of 20 body-safe dildos under $30.
Name an animal, any kind, and its silicone penis is probably somewhere on Etsy. You'll find horses, foxes, wolves, deer, elephants, walruses, lions, dolphins, orcas and on. There are so many sub categories that I made another guide for animal dildos.
Before there was Viagra, some men with ED used hollow dildos to satisfy their partners. These are sometimes called 'penis extenders' or 'cock sheathes' depending on who you ask.
To use it, one's cock is inserted into the hollow end and the balls go through another hole in the bottom to keep it from sliding. Some also have straps to keep things more sturdy.
Hollow dildos like this are the safest and easiest way to increase penis size. Silicone quickly warms up to body temperature, and stays warm. And by using special kinds of silicone, they have a fleshy texture.
With squirting dildos you can cum 24/7. These dildos have internal-tubing and a squeezable bulb. You can suck up liquid by submerging the tip and squeezing the bulb. Then jizz to your hearts content.
A good ejaculate to use is Sliquid Silk Lube, which is milky and has a viscous feel. You can also use water, which squirts a long ways (and is a lot cheaper than lube.)
In my squirting dildo guide, I cover some of the best ejaculating dildos, and their many uses:
If you don't want to buy a dildo you can save money by making your own dildos from scratch. It's a lot of fun and not as difficult as people think. You just need a model, some silicone, and a few tools for putting it all together.
To help create the model, I made a tool that lets you sculpt your own dildos. You can try it out here.
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