In modern times, some dildos are further then ever from the flimsy pieces of plastic they're stereotyped to be, they're fine art.
The most expensive dildos are showstoppers at high end art galleries, and painstakingly crafted by world-renown artists.
For this list, I've put together 10 of the most stunning (and expensive) dildos.
How to make a dildo as expensive as possible? Start by condensing as many diamonds, sapphires, and pearls onto it as possible. Pearl Royale is a 1.3 million dollar dildo that does just that.
It was an ongoing project by jewelry designer Colin Burns, and took 15 years to make. It's currently traveling the world to be shown at art galleries and exhibitions.
When interviewed, he wanted to make a dildo that could "hold its own along side the world's finest crown jewels".
"If we readily accept genuine luxury into all other aspects of our lives then why not the sexual experience" - Colin Burns
Gold changes temperature faster than most metals. So a gold plated dildo like the Lelo Inez actually has some interesting advantages over regular dildos. At $15,000 it's still expensive as heck, but compared to the other dildos on this list it's the 'budget' high end dildo.
People actually buy it too, Gwyneth Paltrow loves sex toys and has talked about it on her blog and in interviews.
It also has 8 vibration settings and Lelo says that it is 'certified body safe'. Although i'm not sure there are any actual scientific studies on putting gold in the vagina. Gold does have some anti-bacterial properties and is non-porous.
Artist Colin Burns is one of the most progressive jewelry art designers, especially when it comes to sex toys. This entire list of expensive dildos could be from his works alone.
'Casanova' is a high end gold dildo inspired by the famous Italian lover from Venice. Like all Colon's works, it's made from very fine materials: lots of gold, emeralds, sapphires, diamonds, and topped of with a giant Mediterranean pearl.
This is one of my favorites on this list, and an occasional screen saver on my phone. It looks so majestically Venetian and Mediterranean, which I find refreshing compared to thousands of white diamonds.
"The piece had to scream Venice with all the mystery of disguise and its naughty playfulness. Smooth cabochon gemstones possessing natural sexual healing energies of crystal were my inspiration to add in the color." - Colin Burns
Made of brass and coated with sterling silver, Leda is one of Fornicouture's most expensive dildos.
The Leda dildo is based on a story from Greek mythology called Leda and The Swan. In it, Zeus turns himself into a swan and seduces Leda the queen of Sparta. Why the swan, i'm still not sure, but either way, Leda gets pregnant. Nine months later, she lays an egg, and out hatches Helen of Troy.
Renaissance artists, including Leonardo Da Vinci, loved making art based on this story. I read that because sex with two people was taboo, it was more socially acceptable to depict a woman and a bird copulating.
After knowing the whole story of Leda, this dildo looks more and more like a swan with a penis 3 times its body length. Making this the most expensive furry-friendly dildo in the world.
Imagine this, your lover gets you a new dildo and offers to use it on you. After you come the most fancy orgasm of your life, they pull the dildo apart and are down on one knee proposing.
That's the experience that the expensive Victor Phantasm dildo delivers. For $59,000 it comes in white gold and has a free diamond engagement ring in the middle! What a two-in-one!
It is custom made in Paris and i'm still not sure who the exact jeweler is. It pops up on luxury toy sites from time to time, but is often sold out. There must be a lot of demand for NSFW proposals.