I love cum. There, I said it. As a gay man, there’s nothing more arousing to me than a cock shooting cum – preferably a lot of it. However, the human body is only capable of producing so much semen; I can’t expect my partner (or myself) to produce massive cumshots every single time. Sometimes one has to turn to fake cum recipes in these trying times.
The average male produces around 1 teaspoon of sperm with each ejaculation. The average cumshot contains around 5-7 calories, so swallowers can enjoy a big cum load without ruining their diet.
Fake cum is an artificial substance which is designed to replicate the look, feel, and possibly the taste of real human sperm. There are many reasons that you might use fake cum in the bedroom, but fake semen is most commonly found in the porn industry, where it's used to produce those huge porn cum shots in both films and photos.
On porn sets, fake cum is usually kept as a reserve in case the male pornstar is struggling to ejaculate or he can’t produce the huge jizz shot that the cameras are looking for. Sometimes the porn producers will use ejaculating dildos for this effect, other times they might just use a syringe.
Methylcellulose is used to create fake cum in professional porn shoots, but I’m trying to look at more everyday home ingredients in this guide. I don’t know about you, but I don’t keep a box of Methylcellulose next to the Cheerios.
If you’ve ever watched professional porn that is based around large amounts of semen (i.e. cum play fetish films, creampie videos, extreme bukkake, Japanese cum porn) then there’s a fair chance that you’ve seen fake cum in use. In fact, DIY homemade cum is often used as lube in Japanese porn films – they bring it out still in the mixing bowl a lot of the time!
You can also buy pre-made fake cum as lube, with Bad Dragon cum lube being the most popular online. If I’m going to play devil’s advocate, I don’t think that the Bad Dragon cum lube has the consistency of real cum and I’m pretty sure it isn’t edible, so it’s not safe for tasting. However, it is totally body-safe and suitable as an internal lubricant, so that’s an advantage.
Assuming you’re not producing your own bukkake movies or extreme cumshot videos, there are many ways to use fake cum in the bedroom! Whether you’re playing with cumming dildos, you like the taste of semen, or the idea of being filled up with too much cum really gets you off, there’s a kink for everyone with fake cum!
Some people simply have a fetish for cum. Like most fetishes, it can be difficult to describe exactly why spunk is a turn-on – it just is. I mean, it makes sense really, as cum is the result of sex for men. It’s an intimate part of a man that you’re getting to taste, it signifies that you’ve done a good job, it’s the fluid that creates life, and being filled with a big cum load can carry connotations of submissiveness.
The taste of cum has always turned me on personally, even if it’s hardly worthy of a Michelin Star. Some fake homemade cum can taste remarkedly similar to the real thing.
In case you aren’t aware, you can buy ejaculating dildos which shoot “sperm” when you press on a pump attached to the toy. These squirting dildos are often used by people with a cum fetish, as well as men and women who enjoy the feeling of cum being pumped into their body when a sexual partner climaxes.
Some men with erectile dysfunction use fake cum if their partner is turned on by semen but they struggle to produce it on demand. This helps to keep everyone happy and introduces a new dynamic to sex sessions. This might use squirting dildos/strap-ons for this also.
In both porn and real-life sex, the idea of using cum as lube is very erotic for some people, and it also has the convenient dual-purpose of lubricating your vagina/bottom at the same time. Using real cum as lube comes with many health risks, especially if you’re not with a single (faithful) sexual partner, so fake cum lube is a great safer alternative.
Here I’ve compiled 3 fake cum recipes for homemade cum which use ingredients that are fairly easy to find at your local grocery store. Please note that while all of these recipes are edible, they are not all body-safe. I also struggled to find measurements of the ingredients for #2 and #3, so a certain degree of experimentation is involved here.
(Edible, not body-safe)
This fake cum recipe was the easiest to find online and it also was the most precise. I originally found the homemade lube recipe here, but it’s featured in various places on the web and a similar version is made in this YouTube video. I had the most faith in this recipe from the onset.
- 1 egg
- 1 teaspoon of sour cream
- 2 tablespoons of corn starch
- 1 cup of water
1. Put 2 tablespoons of corn starch into a cup (236 ml) of water. Mix the 2 together until the water becomes cloudy. Pour this mixture into a saucepan and gently heat it on a medium heat while mixing. Heat gently and simmer for a few minutes until the water thickens, turns white, and acquires a jizz-like consistency. When it’s done, allow the mixture to cool down for 15-20 minutes. I ended up putting the pan in the fridge the cool it down quicker.
2. Crack open the egg and remove the yolk – we’re only after the egg white here. Drop the egg white into the mixture and stir in.
3. Drop a teaspoon of sour cream into the mixture and stir it in thoroughly. This helps to give the homemade cum the white color and the sour, bitter taste often associated with spunk.
4. Add a pinch of salt to taste! You might want to add a little more or less depending on your preference, but we all know that spunk has an undeniable saltiness.
The finished result definitely looks like real sperm. I’d perhaps put a little less sour cream into the mixture so that it isn’t SO white, but the consistency and overall gloopiness of sperm is there. However, the taste of this mixture was bloody disgusting. In a way, its taste was the closest to real sperm, but the combination of sour cream, water, and raw egg white had me spitting this out over the sink. The woman in this YouTube video had a similar reaction.
Knowing the ingredients of this fake cum recipe probably didn’t help with the taste… although I tried to ignore it, my brain KNEW that I was tasting watery egg and sour cream. Hardly appetising.
(Edible, not body-safe)
This is an incredibly simple recipe which is completely edible. It’s the nicest and sweetest-tasting homemade cum on here, but it’s not massively realistic. This is an idea I took from a fake cum Reddit thread and expanded upon.
- 1 cup of water (236 ml)
- 2 teaspoons of icing sugar
- 1 heaped tablespoon of coconut oil
1. Add the icing sugar into the water and stir thoroughly until the water has a cloudier consistency – feel free to add in more or less icing sugar to get the balance right, as all tap water is different.
2. Take 1 heaped tablespoon of coconut oil and add it into a saucepan. Very gently melt the coconut oil on a low heat until it becomes completely liquified – this will not take long.
3. Add the liquified coconut oil into the water and stir. Allow the mixture to cool down and stir once again.
The melting point of coconut oil is 76 degrees F (24 C). If you live in a warmer climate, this cum recipe probably won’t work very well, as the coconut oil may already be liquid at room temperature.
Although the coconut oil did make white lumps in the mixture once it had cooled back down, it was not the gloopy consistency I was hoping for – it tended to solidify in straight sheets, a bit like ice solidifying on a lake in winter. However, this recipe might look better if you live in a warmer climate where the coconut oil naturally stays more liquified within the mixture. Living in England, I am not blessed with this so-called “warm climate”.
Despite being the least sperm-esque, this recipe is actually the nicest tasting. Granted, it doesn’t taste like real sperm, but some people like the idea of cum tasting like coconut syrup.
(Edible AND body-safe)
Simply mix water and plain yogurt together until you get a consistency which works for you. It might not taste amazing, and it might not look amazing, but it does somewhat resemble cum! You can eat this solution and put it inside you to your heart’s content, although I wouldn’t use it as lube.
Plain yogurt is safe for bodily insertion, but a lot of other ingredients in these homemade lubes will give you a nasty yeast infection, so don’t get tempted to shove eggs and corn starch up your vajeen.
I tried a couple of different ratios in my bowls when I was testing this out. I quickly discovered that it’s advisable to use more yoghurt than water if you want to achieve the consistency of jizz. I’d start with 4 parts yoghurt to 1 part water and then make adjustments from there as you see fit. This mixture is body-safe, though I wouldn’t go pouring loads of it inside you! The taste is kind of okay – it tastes like weak yoghurt, funnily enough. Not awful, but not jizz-like.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience, it’s that cum is really difficult to replicate. Using everyday ingredients, you can create fake semen that looks similar to the real thing (recipe #1) but tastes awful, or you can create nice-tasting fake cums but they look/taste little like the real thing.
With all that said, fake semen recipes aren’t exactly plentiful, so maybe there are better versions that I’m missing. Do you know a fake semen recipe which ticks all the boxes? Do you think that professional Methylcellulose semen is the only viable solution? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
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