How to Use a Dildo: 19 Tips From A Professional Dildo Designer

The only guide you need is one that teaches how to use a dildo with self-care to get the unforgettable satisfaction you’d want to feel over and over. Whether you’re into silicone, glass, or metal, there are tips for making every experience safe and pleasurable. It is a great time to be alive when you want to explore sex toys especially with different kinds of dildos. If you received a sex toy as a surprise gift and you’re down for it, or if you’re a sexually adventurous person who’s open to trying the wonders of technology, you’d want to know the kind of dildo is perfect for you.

Dildos are amazing and any harmless sexual activity is definitely worth a try. You may already have an idea about what you want but until you’ve tried something, you’ll never really know what it’s like. A lot of women get off on sex toys alone and while they’re not quite a replacement for what a real penis brings, who says you can’t indulge in alternative pleasures?

It’s a precious sexual tool and you want to learn how to use it to its full potential. Here are some tips for using a dildo with care:

1. First of all, choose the right dildo

It’s important to pick the right dildo for you. Color, size and curve matter. Knowing the appropriate size keeps you from having regrets. Think about the objects you’ve previously used and how they made you feel. Sometimes, they may look intimidating but the main goal of using sex toys is to enjoy it and avoid discomfort. Do you want something that vibrates or something to bounce on? If you’ve never had vaginal or anal penetration, then it’s more advisable to start using your digits or a smaller toy. Perhaps a slimmer one for practice or a dildo that has waves as these add more sensation by stretching and thrusting. And if sizes differ, so do curves. Keep in mind that there are certain dildos for anal and vaginal play. If you’ve never had sex, try soft dildos that feel like the real thing. They are ideal for beginners and you’d want to be gentle for a while. Like any actual penis or sex toy, it takes getting used to. Give it time and find out if that’s what you’re into.

2. Lube makes sense, but first you need to set the mood.

Without metal and manual stimulation, a rubber penis in sight is not enough make you wet. Real-life sex is not as easy as it looks in porn. Before we even get into lubricating your lady bits, think about the environment you’re comfortable masturbating in. Do you have privacy? Would you rather have the lights dim or full on bright like a sunny day out? Is there a playlist that turns you on? Does erotica help? Would you like to have a drink first? Not setting the mood can cause interruptions and delays. Are you sure you’re alone? Unless you want someone to walk in on you attempting to get off from dildo miracles, better lock the door and close the windows. 

Get yourself ready by applying a good amount of water-based lubricant inside and outside of your body, and also on the dildo. You may want to put on some more during the whole play. Here’s another tip you shouldn’t forget- Don’t use silicon-based lube for a silicon toy. Only use water-based lubricants. And get a lot of them, just to be sure!

3. Use condoms on your toy to prevent getting infected with STIs.

To avoid getting an infection and just to avoid any allergic reaction, use a condom your dildo. Don’t use the same one for your anus and vagina if you plan to use it on them. If you have two toys for double penetration, it’s still encouraged to put a condom on them. Protect yourself and your partner by sticking to this important rule.

4. Vaginal pleasure is great but have you tried anal play?

Slow is the perfect way to start as you’re still figuring out how your body reacts to the insertion whether it’s in your vagina or your anus. You or your partner can stimulate on the outside by tongue or by fingers. You can lick and rub as much as you want to prepare for penetration. A vibrator on the clit also helps. Once you’ve managed to penetrate, don’t try to hold your breath so much. You can try different speeds and patterns to figure out your flow. Your flow is what makes you excited and wet, meaning you’re doing it right once you know it. You might notice that overwhelming feeling when thrusting deep into your g-spot and that’s exactly what a dildo is for. If you don’t want to go too deep, make short and quick strokes through the first few inches of your vagina. It’s okay to take it slow or to stop when you realize that you’re not into it. The end goal of experimenting with sex toys is healthy pleasure, not trauma.

5. Going for the Strap-on?

First of all, you need to invest in a high quality adjustable harness in leather or nylon to pair with your dildo as they should be a match made in heaven. It may feel weird at first, but again, it takes time getting used to every sex toy. There are three types of strap-ons: thong, jockstrap and underwear style. Their names say it all. The thong includes a strap around the waist and a strap that goes between the thighs and the butt cheeks. The jockstrap also has a strap around the waist and covers the butt. Underwear style is something you actually wear like undies. Which one would you prefer? Or, what would your partner like? Do they know you’re into this, or is it something they’d want to do? Communication is important because opening to a new experience can make a person feel vulnerable. Whatever you choose to do, always remember to use lube, and please, do not use silicone-based lube on a silicon dildo.

6. Comfort is necessary and glass, steel, and wooden dildos are hardcore.

Dildos have been around for centuries and if you’re after this kind of joie de vivre, you’re in luck. While vibrating dildos are stimulating, some women want it hard.

When you realize you want to level up your game, it’s time for stiff and sturdy stimulation. As long as you’re hitting the right spots, you’ll be okay. Be careful not to hit the cervix or you’ll be moaning in pain instead of gratification.

7. Some like it hot but learn how to temperature play with glass and metal dildos

Can you change the temperature of a dildo? Yes, unless it’s made of wood or silicone. Waterproof toys are awesome for temperature play. Check the temperature before using it on yourself or on someone. Too cold can be shocking but the fix is to place them in a container with warm or room temperature water, or you can tone it down with water from the faucet.

Don’t cook your toys, or heat them in the microwave. SMH.

8. Large Dildo Filling and Stretching.

There are women who prefer huge manhoods and some who would rather opt for the average size but we all have a limit. You’re the only one who can say what’s good for your body no matter what your partner says, or no matter how many videos show pleasurable, mind-blowing moments being penetrated by a god-sized penis or dildo. If you want to get filled and stretched, use a water-based lubricant, or somehow get yourself wet first. You don’t even need to move it inside when you’re also doing clit stimulation with your finger or a vibrator.

9. Sit on it plus and other positions possible for the suction cup dildo.

Isn’t it amazing when you can use a sex toy in more than one position? For doggy-style, you can attach your dildo to the wall, go on all fours and push your hips back on it. If you’re able to attach your toy to the headboard, you can either back on it, or lay down and push and pull back on it in any speed or rhythm that you desire. Imagine you’re doing missionary. When you aren’t feeling too adventurous or energetic, ride it or do squats on it like you would on a man.

10. Crank that glass juicer nicely.

Also known as spinner sex toys, these are an array of dildos that you turn, twist, push and pull around upon insertion. They may be shorter than most dildos but they’re ideal for the g-spot and for anal play. These gems are harmless until you feel that sharp angle so beware of it. You don’t really want to use it for thrusting as it was made to be cranked, given the little handle. Remember, you’re doing it right if it feels good. If you’re playing with a partner, don’t hesitate to tell them what works for you and show them how it’s done.

11. A vibrating, thrusting dildo can take you to places you never knew existed.

This one vibrates and thrusts in a steady rhythm, making you more likely to orgasm with enough stimulation of the g-spot and a-spot. How similar is it to a real penis? Well, they thrust and they were made exactly for when you need a good pounding. Some of them come with a remote control. Many of them are rabbit types. All you have to do is insert the dildo into your vagina when you’re ready and make sure your clitoris is placed in between the rabbit ears. For stronger orgasms and more playful vibrations, this one’s highly recommended for you.

12. Double penetration is a whole different dimension.

Sex toys are fun and once you start loving the sensations they give, you may feel like you can’t get enough of it. You can make your double penetration fantasy happen by using two dildos, one for the vagina, and one for the anus. It’s also enjoyable to use a dildo and your fingers, or a dildo plus getting creative with your partner. The dildo and butt plug teamwork will surely spice up your sex life. What makes more electrifying orgasms? Vibrators! Double penetration and a rabbit-style vibrator will change your life!

13. What’s the perfect dildo for your A-spot?

Did you even know that the A-spot exists? As wonderful as the easy-to-reach g-spot may feel getting hit, your darling A-spot is situated in a very sensitive zone deep into back of the vagina, above the cervix. It’s a tricky place to land your dildo since hitting accidentally hitting the cervix would hurt. If you’re careful and you find out how good it feels, you won’t want to stop. The right dildo for your A-spot is a slightly curved one, or one that has a less immoderate curve. To find the a-spot, you have to slide through the g-spot. A longer dildo makes it easier to reach as it’s just a little more than 5 inches from the opening of the vagina.

14. Forget everything but don’t forget to charge your toy.

You’re not alone. We all forget to charge our vibrators. And if your vibrating dildo suddenly dies mid-orgasm, what a joy! It sucks to be interrupted during sex but with a toy, you really have to stop and wait longer or just drop it unless you have a fully-charged spare. And if somebody needs to be reminded, your excitement may be extreme but please do not play with sex toys while charging.

15. Are you using a clean, functioning dildo?

Clean your toy as soon as you’re done playing and always check for damage. Don’t procrastinate unless you’re inviting germs on the things you put inside you. Do your research before using any sex toy cleaner or liquid anti-bacterial soap, and use clean cotton fabric to wipe it with. Air dry in a dust-free environment and store it in a box. Rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizers are not recommended for cleaning sex toys and you wouldn’t want to take it internally. Basically, you can’t use anything that’s not gentle on your body. If it’s broken or isn’t functioning normally, put it away before it ruins your mood when it completely stops working before you’re done. How do you make your dildo last? Take care of it by following instructions in the manual and store it properly, but don’t expect too much from cheap items. Chances are, sex toys can only last for so long and you’ll need to purchase a new one. It could be fun since the industry is always coming up with new ideas to satisfy your cravings.

16. Can I use a dildo while I’m on my period?

It is completely safe to masturbate with a dildo during your period. Masturbating on your period is normal and it is self-care. It’s a natural pain killer as it helps make menstrual cramps or pains go away, and relaxes your body after play. It also allows you to fall asleep faster after relieving yourself. Bleeding won’t stop your body from having a skyrocketing sex drive and neither would it prevent you from getting an orgasm.

17. Is it safe to use a dildo while I’m pregnant?

The only reasons that make it unsafe for a pregnant woman to use a dildo is when she’s at the risk of premature labor, your cervix is not strong enough, or if your placenta is positioned too low in your uterus. You also cannot use a dildo if your water has broken or else your baby might get an infection.

18. You can use other stuff as dildo but do you really want to?

We know you’d hate to have an infection or have that object break apart inside you. And we don’t want you injured. If it’s any fruit or vegetable, use a condom on it. If it has sharp edges or not strong enough to be intact during use, leave it alone. Handles, bottles, popsicles and candles? Just know that self-care is the best care.

19. It helps to read reviews before you click to buy a dildo.

Be more informed when you’re shopping for a sex toy by looking things up or asking a friend who’s open to share her experience. It wouldn’t kill anyone to read a user manual and follow instructions.

Other reminders: If it’s cheap, make sure it isn’t toxic. Now we know that there are various products made just for your cravings, from things to insert, attach, and rub but it’s interesting to know feedback for each kind. Every woman has her preferred styles and pleasure methods. You don’t live too long and you might as well take advantage of technology. Let it take you to immeasurable heights with different toys and more than one at once! You can share the moment with your partner or keep it like a dirty little secret. You know what’s best for your body and what gets you off. If you are serious about buying sex toys, get ready for sensation overload and learn how to use a dildo without hurting yourself.

About The Author ~ Amelie Pons, Sex Toy Tester

Amelie Pons is a sociology major with a passion for studying the experiences of BDSM-oriented people.   In 2017 she completed her thesis on the ritualized nature of conscious kink, and has been working as a pro-domme since.

When she's not working in the field, you'll find her caring for her succulents, collecting kombucha bottles, or taking her cat for a walk.