As a gay man, I’d always find it frustrating whenever I’d search Google for “anal cleaning” or “how to use a douche”. On the one hand, there’d be the extreme gay douche guides telling you how to prepare for a fisting from 20 people, on the other hand, there’d be writers for women’s magazines who blatantly knew fuck-all about anal sex and talked about it like it was the most painful and terrifying thing on the face on the earth.
It’s just a cock up the ass Karen, you aren’t going to ‘Nam.
There’s a lot of fear and misunderstanding about anal sex prep, with the "prepare your anus" meme probably scaring away some butt-play newcomers! Nonetheless, here I’m going to give you a simple and straightforward guide on how to prepare for anal sex if you just want to take a good ass-fucking without getting a colonic beforehand.
What is douching?
Need a general douche definition? Well, anal douching is the act of cleaning out your anal cavity to prepare for anal sex. The goal of douching is to minimize the chance of poop and/or bad smells from ruining your anal sex session. Most douches use simple water to clean out your rectum, with the doucher “squeezing” or “pooping out” the water multiple times throughout the process. This is designed to flush out small or large pieces of poop which would otherwise disrupt anal sex.
Douching too often can lead to multiple problems inside your colon, such as irritation, constipation, and "douche dependency" – don’t douche more than you need to.
Different types of anal douche
There are 4 main types of anal douche that you’ll come across, and these are:
- Shower Enemas – douche nozzles that attach to your shower hose
- Enema Bulbs – bulb-shaped enemas that are commonly used before anal sex
- Fleet Enemas – medical enemas filled with special saline solution
- Enema Bags – old-fashioned enema bags which are a little outdated and slow
However, I wouldn’t generally recommend the Fleet enemas because the saline solution inside them can have nasty side effects and irritate your colon. Some people empty the liquid out of them and just fill them with regular water, but that seems like a waste of money unless you really like the shape of the Fleet enema bottles.
I also wouldn’t recommend old-school enema bags simply because they’re slow and laborious to use. They also look quite medical and outdated, which doesn’t help to get one in the mood for an anal fucking.
In my experience, shower enemas and enema bulbs are the besttools to prepare your anus for penetration. If you’re a curious lady or it’s your first-time gay sex as a bottom, these are the enemas I’d recommend. In the next sections, we’ll look at shower enemas and enema bulbs in more detail.
How to Use a Shower Enema
Shower enema kits are a fast and efficient way to clean out your ass when preparing for anal sex. Assuming that you’re stood in the shower with the shower douche nozzle firmly attached to your shower hose, here is what to do:
1. Turn on the water!
Make sure that the water is lukewarm – not too hot and not cold. You should be able to rinse the inside of your wrist without the temperature feeling uncomfortable – a bit like when you test a baby's bottle temperature. Don’t have the water pressure ridiculously high, either. If you point the douche nozzle straight up, the water should shoot up about 5 inches before it starts to fall back down again.
2. Lean the nozzle against your hole
It’s hard to relax your anus when there’s a stream of water pounding against it, but it’s the sort of thing you get used to. If you’re experienced with anal sex, you’ll be used to forcing your anus into relaxation!
3. Fill your ass with water for 5 seconds
Unless you’re planning to remake Dawson's 50-Load Weekend, 5 seconds should be enough to get the water inside your lower colon. You don’t want to fill your ass for too long – the higher into your colon that the water goes, the longer and more difficult it is to get it out again. Most anal sex only requires you to clean the first 6 or 7 inches of your ass – we’re not going deep-sea diving here.
4. Hold it in for a few minutes
If you can, squeeze your asshole and keep the water inside you for 30 seconds or 2-3 minutes if possible. I personally like to get out the shower and jump up and down on a dry surface, encouraging the water to clean all the nooks and crannies inside me. If you’re trying to be discreet or you’re staying inside the slippery shower, then jumping around isn’t advisable.
5. Squirt it out!
Squirt the dirty water out of your ass! You can get out of the shower and do this in the toilet if you like, or you could do it directly into your shower drain if you’re prepared to deal with any poop which might come out. If you’re gonna squirt into your shower drain, make sure that the drain cover is off and be prepared to use the stream of water to break up larger pieces of… crap.
Sometimes you’ll just be dealing with brown-ish water while other times you’ll be doing with solid poop. It depends on your digestion, what you’ve eaten recently, if you pooped that day already, and more.
6. Rinse and repeat
Repeat the above process until the water comes out clear and without any nasty smells. This could take 5 or more repeats depending on the day, so be prepared for a lengthy douching session.
7. Clean your hole
When you’re done, be sure to clean your exterior hole with soap and water or a baby wipe. There’s no point in cleaning your ass for anal sex if your exterior hole tastes like shit when they rim you.
How to Use an Enema Bulb
Using an enema bulb is similar to using a shower enema, but it takes a little bit longer on average. However, enema bulbs are generally quite safe and easy to use. They’re also very easy to pack and take on trips so you can clean your anal cavity on the go if your hotel shower isn't compatible with a shower douche nozzle.
1. Fill up your bulb
Take off the spout section and fill your bulb up to the top with lukewarm water. As with all douching, the water should not be too hot or too cold. Once it’s filled to the top, re-attach the spout and keep it upright to stop water from leaking out.
2. Lube up
Lube up the tip of the spout and/or your anus before insertion. You might want to finger your ass for a couple of minutes with lube to help it get warmed up.
3. Remove any air
Grab the bulb enema in your hand and gently squeeze the bulb until a small amount of water comes out the end. This helps to remove any air in the nozzle before insertion.
This is the same principle as doctors always squeezing a bit of liquid out of a syringe before an injection – injecting air into your bloodstream can be fatal. You won’t die if you push air into your ass, but you will probably fart a bit.
4. Insert the spout
Gently insert the lubed up spout about 1-2 inches inside your anus – not too far. Stop if it feels uncomfortable.
5. Squeeze the bulb
Squeeze the bulb firmly, forcing the water inside your bottom. You might need to squeeze the bulb quite hard to do this, and it’s normal for cheaper bulbs to leak a little bit during this process. Once you’ve squeezed all you can, remove the spout.
6. Hold it in
Just like with the shower enema, try to squeeze your anus and hold the water in for 30 seconds to 2-3 minutes if possible. Again, jumping up and down (if it’s safe to do so) may help to get the water cleaning your insides more effectively.
7. Squirt it out
Squirt out the water into your uncovered shower drain or toilet, depending on your preference. Bear in mind that you may need to deal with large pieces of poop, so the toilet is usually the safest option.
8. Rinse and repeat
Repeat this process until the water comes out clear and clean, smelling like water rather than… crap. You might need to repeat this process 5+ times, though I find that 2-3 times usually is enough.
9. Clean your asshole!
Use a baby wipe or soap and water to clean your exterior asshole once you’re done. Just don’t use toilet paper, as it tends to leave small paper fibers on your hole which aren’t exactly erotic.
Anal Douching Tips
Now you know how to use a douche, here are some general anal douching tips to assist with your anal sex escapades!
Eat a Fiber-Rich Diet
Eating a fiber-rich diet normalizes your bowel movements and helps to keep your colon healthy. This makes your poops more “clean” and “uniform” on the way out. You should also try to avoid hot/spicy foods before bottoming, and if you’re sensitive to dairy products, avoid those too.
Homemade Anal Douche
If you’re about to have anal sex and you don’t have a shower enema or enema bulb to hand, then a water bottle with sports-style cap is a great homemade anal douche when you don’t have a better option.
Weigh Yourself Before You Start
Wanna make sure that all that water has left your body? Try weighing yourself before douching, taking note of the weight, and then weighing yourself again after you’re done. If the weight has increased, there may be some water left inside your colon. Bear in mind that you need very accurate scales for this.
Consider Not Douching at All!
It’s becoming more and more popular to avoid anal douching altogether if you “feel” like you’re empty. If you’ve just recently had a bowel movement and your ass “feels empty”, there’s a strong chance than you’re good to go. You get used to sensing this “empty” feeling after a while. In fact, some doctors recommend avoiding douching before anal sex, or only douching a very small amount.
"Imagine if you line up ten guys, and you're going to top them all. Even if they haven't prepared, nine out of ten would be completely stool-free."
Dr. Evan Goldstein
Best Anal Douches and Enemas to Try
Looking to get an anal douche or enema on that sweet Amazon Prime membership? Here are some great products to try that Amazon will deliver straight to your door in discreet packaging.
Best Shower Enema
The CleanStream shower enema kit comes with a 6-foot hose which makes using it very easy in awkward positions. The CleanStream kit comes with a 3.5-inch nozzle and a larger 5-inch nozzle, although the company also makes a kit with 4 different nozzle sizes (one of which is flexible) which you can find here on Amazon.
Best Enema Bulb
This enema bulb fro