By: JC Ways
June 14, 2019
Whether you’re submissive or dominant, the world of BDSM toys and bondage gear can be incredibly exciting and stimulating for all the senses. We previously talked about BDSM furniture in another post, but what about smaller bondage toys and accessories that don’t require complicated assembly and tons of space?
Here we dive into the world of bondage sex toys and BDSM supplies, giving you a broad overview of the most common kink gear you’re likely to come across. I’d make the “cum across” joke, but I think I’ve used it one too many times on this site now. Let’s go!
Bondage and BDSM restraints are probably the most likely form of kinky play that most people in the bedroom have tried. Tying your partner to your bed frame with a couple of ties or DIY chains is easy enough to do on a whim, and films/books like Fifty Shades Of Grey popularized this sort of basic restraint play, even if it was an objectively awful movie. BDSM restraints come in all shapes and sizes, but here are some of the most popular forms.
According to Adam and Eve, 27% of US couples have tried using blindfolds, paddles, and restraints in the bedroom, while 17% regularly engage in BDSM sex with “safe words”.
Versatile classic
Ah, the bondage rope. Bondage ropes are so versatile and fun, whether you’re tying someone to a bed or tying their body up into a submissive position while they wait to be fucked. Bondage ropes can be combined with numerous types of vanilla and extreme BDSM play, reducing the freedom of movement that your partner has while you decide what you’re going to do to them! There are multiple types of knot you can use with bondage ropes, so it’s useful to learn at least a couple of them.
You ideally want to use a purpose-made bondage rope which holds knots well, doesn’t chafe the skin, and doesn’t leave any nasty rope burns. I mean, we want to punish our subs, but burning their skin may be a step too far.
Not just for oxen anymore!
Spreader bars and yokes are designed to spread your sub out in one way or another. Arm-spreading bars are probably the most common, forcing your sub to have their arms spread out aloft their head, leaving their torso and genitals vulnerable to your touch. You can also commonly find leg-spreading bars which force your bitch’s legs open, leaving their pussy or ass totally helpless. There seems to be a spreading bar for every position you can think of, so look around!
Fun fact: yokes were originally worn by oxen to help them pull heavy loads in pairs. Now they’re used by kinky couples as a form of BDSM equipment. Go figure!
Own them like the dog they are
A collar is the ultimate symbol that someone is your little bitch – you own them. They’re great for pup play and dom/sub power exchanges. Dragging your bitch around by the collar really shows them who’s boss in your relationship and makes them feel worthless and degraded – they are at your command. BDSM collars come in various shapes, styles, and materials, including both leather and vegan options. Some even come with ball gags attached, depriving your bitch of the ability to yap.
Not as gruesome as it sounds!
The first time I heard the words “anal hook”, I initially recoiled in horror, but don’t worry, it’s not as extreme as it sounds. Anal hooks actually have stainless steel ball(s) on the end of them, and they are inserted into the anus. The main length of the hook still sticks out, and you can attach ropes or other pieces of BDSM gear onto the hook to keep your bitch in line.
Many sub/dom couples use anal hooks to perform posture training for the sub, essentially training them to kneel up straight or stay in a restrained position for extended periods of time without tapping out.
For when cuffs just don’t cut it
Although regular handcuffs and bondage mittens do force your sub to be at your mercy, they still have a certain amount of wiggle room which just is not acceptable. Arm binders take this to the next level, encasing your slave’s entire arms in binders which give them very little room to wriggle or struggle as you tease their body. Arm binders are a great way to take bondage kinks up a gear.
Shut up, bitch
Gags are a turn on for many subs and doms, as well as those into more extreme pup roleplay. Gags come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, some of which are more suitable for experienced subs as opposed to newbies. If you’re new to gags, remember that many of them are hard and force your jaw open uncomfortably for extended periods of time.
If you’re looking to try gags for the first time, you should aim for a gag which is made from pliable material (such as soft silicone) and consider gags which have holes in, allowing you to breathe from both your nose and mouth while gagged and bound.
When you’re ball gagged, you cannot speak a safe word, so it’s essential to come up with a clear “safe signal” which can be acted out instead. Some users on the BDSM subreddit suggest taps, bells you can ring, and patterns of grunts.
Better than duct tape, trust me
Pleasure tape (i.e. bondage tape) is specially designed so that it only sticks to itself. This means that when you wrap it around your partner’s body a few times, it will create a strong bond without directly sticking to their skin and hurting them. Have you ever tried to peel duct tape off of your skin after a few hours of BDSM torture? It’s agony. Stick to the professional bondage tape and do yourself a favor – it’s not worth the few bucks you save.
Ideal for so many scenes
If you’ve ever been arrested (not that I have), you’ll know how frustrating handcuffs can be – they limit your movement and make your totally subservient to whoever happens to have the key to unlock you. The cuffs from adult stores take this one step further, leaving a sub at the mercy of their dom.
You can use cuffs to attach a sub to themselves, their dom, or various pieces of BDSM furniture, leaving you with endless possibilities for prisoner roleplay, power exchanges, extreme restraints scenes, and more.
Impact play is another common form of BDSM which most people are familiar with. It involves “impacting” (i.e. hitting) your partner with your hand or some form of BDSM equipment like a paddle, flogger, or whip. Lots of people find this kind of play to be arousing, crossing the lines between pleasure and pain. Many doms like to see the red bruising that their spanking causes on their sub’s ass, for instance, while subs like to feel that they are being punished with physical force.
Impact play has the potential to be very painful and go too far for the sub, so use caution and make sure that safe words are strictly in place. People have died in BDSM scenes, so safety should be taken seriously.
Versatile impact play fun
The great thing about floggers is their versatility. For example, a long leather flogger with multiple long strands can be used for whipping your sub, but it can also be used for sensual sensation play and touching when your bitch is tied up, arousing them as they feel the strands brush over their helpless body. Floggers come in different materials for different purposes, such as rubber, leather, and even steel, so there’s also something to meet your sexual desires. Floggers are a staple kink toy for any S&M sex toy enthusiast out there.
Inflict pain – they deserve it
BDSM whips are designed to instill fear and inflict pain on your sub, whether you’re using them to lash out at the ground and intimidate them, or actually strike their skin and make them feel pain. As with most S&M sex toys, there are various styles and sizes of whip for you to peruse, whether you’re looking for a bullwhip, a dragon tail whip, or a cat o’ nine tails.
For when spanking isn’t enough
The great thing about paddles is that they distribute the impact more evenly than a whip or a flogger, covering a larger surface area. This means that when you spank your sub’s ass with a paddle repeatedly, you slowly but surely turn their ass red, which can be very arousing for both people in the scene. Some paddles even come with impressions like the world “slut” or “bitch” which will be temporarily marked on the bitch’s skin if you smack them hard enough. Go on, they love it.
Instill fear in your sub
Canes, much like whips, have the ability to strike fear into your sub – the “whoosh” sound of a cane being whipped through the air is enough to get any little bitch excited and fearful of their master. Due to their association with teachers and naughty school kids, canes are popular among couples who enjoy naughty schoolboy/schoolgirl roleplay, as well as other similar scenes. If you really want to show a sub who’s wearing the pants, whip out the cane and watch the fear in their eyes.
Some people like leather, some people like lace, and some people like latex. We can’t always explain it, but something about fetish wear can be extremely fucking sexy. Perhaps it’s the tight and revealing properties of latex, or maybe a bodysuit with a pussy cutout just pushes your buttons in the right way. Whatever you find to be a turn on, there’s a kinky get-up out there for you.
Skin-tight and fully adjustable
Catsuits are a staple for any kinky woman, and they’re incredibly popular with fem doms who like to treat their man (or woman) like a little bitch. The skin-tight latex clings tight to every inch of the wearer’s body, simultaneously leaving them revealed yet powerful and in control. Many catsuits come with zips and openings which allow the wearer to expose her pussy, often forcing her slave to perform cunnilingus while she retains all the power in her sexy and demeaning outfit. Make the naked slave feel like dirt on your shoe.
Womanly yet kinky
Whether you’re going for Betty Page or Marilyn Monroe, a latex dress is the perfect way to accentuate a flattering female figure while still feeling powerful and in control. Latex dresses cling to the skin very tightly, exposing much of the wearer’s body, yet they carry a sense of femininity that can sometimes be lost with catsuits and other BDSM wear. It’s all down to personal preferences at the end of the day, but I think that latex dresses are pretty damn sexy.
Models like Dita von Teese and drag queens like Violet Chachki have based their aesthetic on this kind of look.
Something to grab on to
Harnesses are popular with men due to the way they strap over your chest, and they are particularly popular with gay men who have BDSM kinks and fetishes. Not only do sexy leather harnesses accentuate a man’s chest and shoulders, but they also make him easier to fuck anally. For example, if a harness-wearer is being anally fucked in the doggy position, the top is able to grab on to the harness for better leverage and deeper fucking.
They may also enjoy using it for posture training, yanking their sub’s body into the position they desire. Some harnesses also feature attachment points for bondage, depending on the style.
Become whatever you want to be
Hoods and masks have the potential to add new dimensions to a fetish scene for both the dom and the sub. For example, some subs like their dom’s face to be concealed so that they cannot see who is fucking them. On the other hand, some subs like to wear masks which deprive them of their sight and ability to speak, leaving them totally oblivious to the outside world and at the mercy of the dom. Animal-esque masks are also common, such as pup and bunny masks, allowing the wearer to transform into the submissive little pet of your choice.
Although BDSM gear is open to both sexes, most of it does tend to be geared toward women. Whether they’re dominating or submitting, it seems like many specimens of the supposedly fairer sex like to get their kink on. Nipples, pussies, and asses need to be punished sometimes, whether you’re willing to admit that you like it or not!
Make your pussy wild with desire
Although their name doesn’t sound super appealing, pussy pumps can actually heighten a woman’s sexual experience, whether she’s alone or with a partner. Pussy pumps form a vacuum around the clitoris and/or labia which draws more blood into that area, making it appear slightly swollen and puffy. However, this also leaves the pussy more sensitive to touch, whether you’re being fucked, receiving cunnilingus, or being teased with toys. This YouTube video from LoveHoney goes into more detail.
Pussy pumps can massively increase a woman’s sexual sensitivity – the feeling of blood rushing to the groin is similar to the sensation a man experiences when he gets an erection.
They’ll get off when you allow them to
Chastity belts are very popular in many facets of the BDSM community, restricting your slave from pleasuring themselves or having sex until you allow them to do so. This feeling of restriction and obedience is a turn-on for many subs and doms, with some slaves even wearing their chastity belts for days at a time to keep themselves nice and chaste for their master. The sexual frustration that builds up can lead to intense arousal when the dom finally decides that the sub is allowed to receive pussy pleasure at their will.
Spread ‘em!
If you’ve ever been to a gynecology exam, you may have encountered a speculum. These metal or plastic devices are designed to clamp onto your pussy and hold it open, leaving your inner passage totally exposed and vulnerable. These extreme fetish toys are often reserved for patient-doctor scenes due to their medical nature, although I’m sure there’s plenty of sexy stuff you could get up to if you put your mind to it. Personally, I find that speculums are a little too medical-looking to be sexy, but some people find the coldness of a clinical scene to be a real turn-on.
Get them hard and pointy
Although I’ve put nipple clamps in the female section of this list, there are indeed plenty of men and women who both like the feeling that nipple clamps can arouse. We often forget that our nipples are powerful erogenous zones, and some people can even experience nipple orgasms from stimulation. Nipple clamps are a little bit more on the painful side, depending on the type you use, so they’re great for sluts who like to be punished too.
A man’s cock is his pride, so why not try some vanilla or extreme BDSM to take that pride away from him and punish his dick? Whether you’re exploring his urethra or locking his cock away till you allow it to be pleasured, torturing a man’s penis is a surefire way to get him all fired up and ready to go. Personally, I don’t think I could take this kind of torture, but who knows?
He’ll cum when you allow it
Cock cages come in various constructions, from silicone to stainless steel, and all of them are designed to torture your man by taking away access to his penis. You might force it onto him at the beginning of a scene, not allowing him to gain an erection or cum until you feel it is time to unlock him. On the other hand, he might wear the cock cage for days at a time, building up sexual frustration (i.e. “blue balls”) until he can’t take it anymore.
Surveys indicate that a lot of men masturbate daily, so being unable to touch themselves for extended periods will drive them mad with passion. Honestly, they’ll be begging to cum in no time.
Urethral Sounds
Urethral sounds are essentially long (or longish) rods that are designed to be carefully inserted into a man’s urethra. In other words, you slide them down his pee hole and into the length of his cock. This kind of play is certainly kinky and fetishized for some, but do bear in mind that the urethra is a very delicate and bacteria-prone part of the body, so using lots of lube and sterilizing your sex toys is absolutely essential to avoid unwanted pains and infections.
Most urethral sounds are made from silicone, steel, or aluminum (or aluminium if you’re from across the pond) and the majority can be boiled before play to ensure that they’re germ-free and ready for action.
Plug him up as long as you want
Another one for the sounders out there, penis plugs are designed to stimulate the urethra and remain in place without needing anyone to hold them there. This way, you can tie up your bitch of a man, place a penis plug in his cock, and arouse him while he feels the simultaneous pleasure and restriction of the plug in his urethra. Some of these plugs are bigger than others – you should definitely start small and work your way up as you get more advanced.
Zap! When pussy bondage and kink toys aren’t quite doing the job, we can always turn to estim and electrosex toys to really get sparks flying (kind of literally) in the bedroom/dungeon.
Make sparks fly!
There’s so much you can use estim and electrosex toys for that it’s almost mind-boggling. There are electric anal plugs, electric cock rings, shocking electrodes, electro wands, roller electrodes and much more. If you really, really want to make your sub feel horny with fear and subservience, then the sparks of an electric wand ought to do the trick. Toys like electro wands can also be really great for roleplay, especially if your sub likes to feel like a farmyard animal that needs to be zapped as punishment.
I mean, isn’t “electrosex” just a cool word to be begin with? It sounds like the name of an avant-garde German punk band in the ‘80s.
Of course, it’s not all about getting zapped; toys like electric cock rings and electric butt plugs are designed to send gentle (or harsher) jolts of electric into your body, causing your muscles to contract and spasm with pleasure or indeed pain. This is great for doms who like to truly torture their subs, especially if the electrosex toy comes with a remote control so they can adjust the strength and frequency of the electric jolts. Tie them up, hook them up to an electric sex toy, and do your worst
Have I piqued your interest in the world of bondage sex and kinky fetish toys? If you’re gagging to find out more about maximizing your BDSM sex experience, read on to see how you can take things up a notch… or several notches.
Sensory overloadYou often hear about sensory deprivation in BDSM (i.e. taking away someone’s sight or hearing so that their other senses are heightened) but you don’t hear about sensory overload too often.
SONY DSC
Essentially sensory overload requires exposing your sub to many different kinds of sex toys, BDSM gear and possibly bondage restraints, forcing them to feel a diverse and arousing cornucopia of sensations until they just can’t take it anymore. The idea is that the more sensations they’re experiencing, the more they likely they are to cum.
For example, if a sub woman is tied up and her pussy is pumped, she’s going to feel pleasurable sensations from this heightened sensitivity. However, if her pussy is pumped, her nipples are clamped, her mouth is gagged, her ass is plugged and she’s being jolted with an electro wand, she’s more likely to get wet because she’s being so sexually stimulated that she can’t take it anymore! It’s almost like edging someone without necessarily touching their genitals. I kind of see it like a challenge – how aroused can I make someone without actually touching their nether regions?
BDSM FurnitureBDSM furniture refers to larger objects (you might call them… furniture) which are used for kink and BDSM purposes. For example, this may include sex slings, bondage benches, queening chairs, large cages, BDSM crosses, fuck machines, and more. BDSM furniture is a bit of a step up from the smaller sex toys listed here – a lot of it is stuff you need a permanent or semi-permanent space for unless you want to be dismantling/assembling stuff every time you want to get your freak on. We put together a guide to BDSM furniture here… click if you wanna continue down this kinky rabbit hole.
Just when you thought the initialisms couldn’t get worse in the kink scene, here we arrive at “DIY BDSM”.There are so many household items and cheaply-bought items which can be used as DIY BDSM gear, from baby oil to dog leashes. Here I’m going to briefly list some of my favorite DIY solutions for kinkier sex:
Personally, I think that a lot of people are into BDSM and kinks but they’re too scared or ashamed to admit it, even to their sexual partners. I certainly know that some of my former partners would start biting their lip in arousal if I tied them up or choked them a little, though they’d never admit it in the cold light of day, which made me sad. If you like being tied up, tortured, tickled, teased, or just fucked absolutely senseless, don’t feel ashamed! As long you’re safe, consensual, and having fun, you should be free to explore your sexual fantasies and push your kinks to the absolute max. Have fun out there!
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This was very helpful to me because I am new to all this but I know that I’m into it, I just really needed to know more about some of the things that could be used on me in the future and what I might have or need to look forward to.
Glad to help!
I love it so much