It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Halloween.
Spooky Season is the one month where we all can revel in the darkness and the macabre to enjoy a good scare. Fear is a primal emotion that has always been closely tied to our sexual fantasies. To celebrate the horny monster in us all, I needed a true Mistress of the Dark.
So I lit some candles, cast a spell, and conjured Repechos, a 23-year-old Goth gal who you can follow on OnlyFans, TikTok, and Reddit. We sat down to discuss her history, influences, and the rise of The Big Titty Goth Girlfriend.
Hailing from southern California, Repechos is a First-Generation US-born child of an El Salvadoran family. Unlike most children in 21st century America, she knew what she wanted to do from a very young age.
“My father was an IT guy. I had access to the internet before I could read. I actually learned to read on a computer. Having access to the internet also gave me very early access to internet porn. I had glamourized [pornography] a bit. Also, every stripper I had ever seen was the most put together and the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. So, it was really easy for me to put all my femininity in one basket. As soon as I turned 18 I knew exactly what I wanted to do. On my 18th birthday, I started selling [photos and videos].”
If the origin story of seeing a sex worker as a child and becoming entranced by their beauty sounds familiar, it may be because Country Music legend and fashion icon Dolly Parton shares a similar story. Repechos herself said she saw her style as “Goth Dolly Parton”.
The decision to become a professional Sex Worker can be scary when considering how your family will react. Repechos feels there was a conflicting yet positive vibe to her upbringing when it came to sex.
“I come from a very Catholic family and a very Hispanic Catholic family. So, that is a very strange combination. There’s this kind of thing with Hispanic women where we wear really short skirts, our tits are out all the time, but we also don’t talk about sleeping around. It’s just not talked about. So, yeah, we are more liberated… but also very conservative.”
Growing up, Repechos tried a variety of looks and styles. She was Emo in Middle School, because who wasn’t back then?
“That was a special kind of sadness. Like, a sadness I would never feel again. I wouldn’t consider myself Goth then. I was just a teenager, it comes with the territory.”
After her Emo phase, Repechos did a 180 and became a Hippie for a little while. It wasn’t until she spent time with an old friend in Los Angeles that she remembered how much fun she had putting on dark eyeliner and spooky attire.
“I bought my first latex dress and that was it.”
Repechos’ influences aren’t what you would normally think. Saying she wasn’t a huge Elvira fan, leaning more towards Morticia Addams and Maila Nurmi’s Vampira.
While most fashion themselves after the unflappable leading ladies of Horror, Repechos said her greatest inspiration comes from the “Final Girls”, the last woman standing at the end of the night who bests the villain.
“Every single Final Girl has been my everything. I love that kind of crust-punk look, that look of desperation and blood. I wish I could replicate it with makeup. I think Veronica from Heathers is my favorite, even though it isn’t considered a Horror movie. It is to me in some ways.”
True, Heathers is categorized as a dark comedy, but I’d wager most of us would rather go up against Freddy Kruger than re-live High School.
Starting on the dear departed Tumblr, Repechos quickly gained clients selling private videos and photographs. After Tumblr banned adult content in the single dumbest move in business history, Only Fans was the perfect place for Repechos to run her small business.
“I sold individually for a very long time and started on Only Fans only three years ago when it was very, very new. It definitely picked up more during the pandemic. It was more of a [social media] feed than ‘I’ll make a video, market it, and try to sell it to people.’ It was a huge change. Only Fans was the only site that was so concise. I could see what I was making, exactly what I needed to take out for taxes, and what was working and what doesn’t.”
Repechos not only inherited her sex-positive views from her culture but also her love of Goth and Horror. For anyone who didn’t grow up around Hispanic or Latin communities, it might be a surprise how prevalent the Goth lifestyle is.
“[In Hispanic culture] you either become Goth or you become Retro, and sometimes it’s both. The Goth Rock-a-Billy Hispanic scene is really big. Like, everybody has a Tia with red hair that has it up in a Victory roll. It just kind of comes naturally.”
While there are many traditions in Hispanic and Latin communities that honor the dead, such as Dia de Los Muertos, Repechos sees the Goth connection more closely tied to becoming American.
“I would say it’s more related to a love of Americana. It is one of the most American things to be an outcast. That may not be the case [currently], but America has always been a very ‘we’ll take you as you are’ sort of thing. My father was Goth in the ’80s when he was a fresh immigrant. He could finally afford to be different and have fun.”
That cultural affinity for Americana certainly extends to Horror movies, especially the films of the 1980s.
“I love classic 80s Horror movies. …I really like very, very American things. Like, things where I look at it and go ‘this is part of the American culture’. Some people would say ‘there is no American culture’ but [80s Horror] is American culture.”
It is hard to argue otherwise. The slasher flicks of the 1980s were a direct response to the political atmosphere of the time, where Reagan was doing some slashing of his own to social safety nets and spearheading a return to conservative norms. It was a scary time to be on the outskirts of polite society, and that was reflected in Pop Culture.
“It’s a reaction to the times – to the general attitude. I know there are certain people that would consider it a satirical reaction to the times, but it still is a reaction.”
As far as the trope of “have sex and you’ll die” in those old-school Horror films, Repechos doesn’t see the judgment in it. In fact, to her it is necessary.
“Horror needs the vulnerability of sex to work sometimes. Yeah, in the 70s and 80s Horror the killer always killed whoever was having sex… but there was always a part of your brain attached to that moment. Your neurons are going off and you won’t notice a shadow moving in the corner.”
The combination of fear and sexual arousal is well documented. Hormones are jacked up as your heart beats so hard you can feel it in your ears. It’s fun being scared, but what is it about someone being scary that is so damned sexy?
Repechos and I bonded over our shared Queer awakening thanks to a pair of Hispanic vampires. Her jaw dropped at Salma Hyak’s dancing scene in Robert Rodriguez’s masterpiece From Dusk ‘til Dawn while 3,000 miles away Antonio Banderas played with a candle flame in Interview with the Vampire and left 12-year-old me with questions about my sexuality. Turns out we are far from alone in our attraction to what lurks in the shadows.
One of the most popular types of porn today features the “Big Titty Goth Girlfriend” (BTGGF) – a female-presenting gothic person who has large breasts, as the name implies.
Yes, while there are male-presenting Goth sex workers online too, but they are quite a bit rarer and don’t carry a fun moniker of their own. “Big Dick Darkness Daddy” was the best I could come up with.
The hallmarks of a BTGGF are a sultry and thicc Witch who dominates men with her powerful femininity. Showing up even in the world of gaming, with Resident Evil: Village gracing us with Madame Dimitrescu – the evil, curvy vampire who became an overnight sensation with legions of fans begging to be crushed under her stilettos and nine-foot-tall frame.
BDSM has always played a pivotal role in the look of Goth, with lots of leather and metal elements, but there has been a sharp rise in the mainstreaming of Dom/Sub relationships.
The interplay of pain and pleasure is nothing new to Horror. Clive Barker, the creator of Hellraiser, shows this overtly in his art. Much like why everyday people consume media that they know will scare them, there is the freedom to let yourself experience pain or fear while still having control over the situation. If it gets too much, just turn off the TV or say your safe word and the monster is gone.
For those bringing the pain, having a controlled, consensual environment to exorcise those demons and vent that frustration can act as a catharsis. Especially for women, POCs, and those in the LGBTQ+ community, where everyday life can be a deluge of hurt and darkness.
“If you look back, you could pinpoint [normalization of BDSM] to a couple of women’s marches where they were saying ‘I’d like to be in charge, actually.”
That idea is fitting, considering Repechos’ regular fans and buyers.
“They’re [usually] rich, successful, men who are too busy to give a fuck about people. Upper-class, white, business dudes.”
The cliche of the Wall Street Bro being Alpha all day and Beta all night takes a new twist here. Repechos may literally be a Big Titty Goth Girlfriend, but her specialty is in the popular “Goth Mommy GF” subgenre. This flavor features a powerful and domineering mother figure who acts as both nurturer and punisher.
“The new thing is ‘Goth Mommy GF’. It used to be ‘Goth Gamer Girl GF’, like very ‘uwu’, very submissive and innocent. I think [Goth Mommy] comes from the last year of people needing to take care of themselves to the Nth degree. It’s like, I just want someone to take care of me. A beautiful woman to just care for me for half an hour. It’s like the ‘Daddy Dom’ craze a couple of years ago. It came from people being so stressed all the time and just being like ‘I just want someone to take care of everything for me’. In their front-brain, they’re like ‘no, no, I don’t need someone to pay my bills’ but everything just bleeds [into it].”
Following the theme of feminine power and care is the modern Goth trend of an open acceptance and practice of Witchcraft. The idea of a cackling crone stirring a cauldron full of evil has given way to a more accurate portrayal of Magik that is all about healing and self-actualization.
“I am what is considered a ‘Curandra’. I still use Catholic idols, but it’s more on the healing side of things. It’s what my Grandmother did. [My partner] is actually a full-blooded Witch, like fourth or fifth generation. I’m very into affirmations. Like, I don’t believe in crystals, but I think it’s good to put your thoughts into objects, that’s a lot of what Witchcraft is. It’s intention more than anything. Of course, I put my behavior behind it. It’s not just thinking things will work out and they do.”
Adorable sidenote: Repechos and her partner started dating on October 31st by chance.
The awakening of Witchcraft in Repechos’ life was actually inspired by the 2018 remake of 1977’s Suspiria. The film follows a young woman who joins a prestigious dance academy that is secretly run by Witches.
“I had fallen out of Witchcraft for a long time. Seeing Suspiria… reminded me you could do incredibly, horribly powerful things with just women. Like a sisterhood.”
Attitudes towards Feminism have shifted in the past few years. In some cases, the reaction has gotten viler, but overall there’s been a wave of empowerment for women. Goth girls on social media are not shy about sharing their political views with the world, with most leaning towards Leftist Progressive ideals. This is especially apparent in how welcoming the Goth subculture is of people in the LGBTQ+ community.
“I think there is that element of being Goth and being into dark things that is othering in a certain aspect, which softens the edges to let you in when you’re LGBT and that’s great!”
Going beyond sexuality, Goths are a far more diverse bunch than mainstream media often portrays.
“When it comes to media perception of Goth versus on-the-street Goth, those are two different things. Whenever you see a Goth girl on TV it’s a skinny, white chick. A lot of times that person doesn’t exist.”
While queer and alternative media such as The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula have done a lot to represent spooky and gothic aesthetics for plus-size people, POC people, and LGBTQ+ people in recent years, there is still a long way to go when it comes to mainstream representation.
When it comes to politics, Repechos focuses most of her energy on advocating for sex workers’ rights, rather than focusing on a certain political ideology.
“If you want to ethically consume pornography, you have to pay individual [people] and individual services. Or at the very least you have to look at where you’re getting it from. There’s a really big difference between someone on Only Fans where you’re paying them directly and a major company. The most important thing to remember is that it is a job like any other. It may be a job you like, but it is still a job.”
Living through a pandemic and making your income as an independent freelancer online can be difficult and uncertain, but Repechos finds that practicing Witchcraft can help her gain a sense of control in her life during turbulent times.
“Being Goth, being a Witch, all of it brings a sense of control into your life. I would say being Goth just means you’re not ignoring the fact that you are going to die and not being as scared of it.”
For many, goth culture is about looking into the pitch-black reality of life and laughing in the face of death. It’s a celebration of what makes us human through gallows humor, confidence, and sexiness.
To put it plainly, Goths are just f*cking hot.