If you live with roommates, a loud vibrator can be a big buzz kill. Instead of feeling awesome, a masturbation session starts to feel tedious, and there's nothing worse than having to tip toe your way to an orgasm that you just want to enjoy.
Having 5 roommates myself, I got the idea to hunt down and find the most quiet vibrator possible. I headed off to three different sex shops in my area and got to measuring their vibes.
At each sex shop I measured the volume of their vibrators using a decibel monitor app on my phone. I measured the change in volume, and did not include any ambient noises of the shop (fans, music, etc).
Here are some of the results...
As quiet as..
A pin drop
Lovense Lush 3
Night time in the desert
Lelo Mia 2
A footstep (wearing socks)
Lelo Mona 2
A babbling brook
Lelo Ina 2
A humming refrigerator
What makes one vibrator quieter than another?
With all the testing I started to see some patterns among quiet vibrators compared to louder vibrators.
The Material is the most important thing in determining how loud a vibrator will be. The more plastic involved generally the less insulated the vibrations will be. Silicone was a good pick because of how well it insulates the sound.
The Motor - Motors come in all kinds of designs and shapes. The higher quality the materials and design the less noisy the vibrator will be.
The Size - The more surface area a vibrator has the more air it moves when it vibrates, and the louder it becomes. For this reason bullet vibrators and small vibrators tend to be more quiet than big ones.
External vs Internal - Your body does a good job of insulating the sound. So for toys that are meant to stay inside you, like the lovense lush, they are practically inaudible when doing their job.
Bottom line, a well-made and small silicone g-spot vibrator is the most quiet. With bullet clit vibrators being a close second.
World's Most Silent Vibrator? ...Kinda
The Laviu one from Germany claims to be the "world's most silent vibrator". It was an Indiegogo project that raised $100,000 to make a new kind of throbbing vibrator that doesn't have any buzzing or rumbling. Well, that's if you consider it a vibrator anyways. It looks like it pulses or throbs more than it vibrates, so i'm not quite sure how pleasurable it would be.
Here's a promo video of it in action.
Lelo Mia 2: The Most Silent Bullet Vibrator
Bullet vibrators like the Lelo Mia 2 have small surface area and a high quality motor that makes them near silent.
Quiet - At its lowest settings it is almost inaudible, you have to hold it up to your ear to even hear it. At the highest setting it measures 35 decibels, which is the same as my electric toothbrush. Behind walls your roommates won't be able to hear this. If you share a room with someone you could get away with using while they are asleep. If they are a light sleeper the higher settings could wake them in a completely quiet room, though.
Power - For how quiet it is, it's pretty dang powerful. The vibrations are smooth but strong, If you have a sensitive clit then this toy would be perfect for you, and probably too strong at the higher settings.
If you need a mega-vibe like the hitachi magic wand to get off than this is probably not the vibrator for you. But if you enjoy a nice smooth gentle vibes this is perfect. It’s not a power tool though and it isn’t going to give you a good back massage.
The Look – To most people the lelo vibe looks like lipstick or masquera. I have even left it on my living room table just because I am get a weird satisfaction out of no one realizing that my vibrator is on the coffee tray. And if they do realize what it is, so what, it’s gorgeous and they probably have a lelo of their own – great conversation starter.
Buttons – If they do realize what it is it’s because they notice the small buttons on the side, touch them, and then wonder WHY is this lipstick vibrating so much.
The buttons are nice though. They are silicone and easy to press, you don’t have to fight with the Mia just to change the vibration setting while using it. They might be hard to find when you first use it, it is meant to be discreet. But once you find them it is easy to use.
Charging – To charge it you just take of the top to reveal a usb, plug that into any charger and it will fully charge in a few hours. You can charge it in public or on an airplane and people will think it is just a usb drive. It also saves a lot of money on batteries, which really adds up considering how much I use my vibrators. When you first get it it isn’t charged so you gotta wait a few hours before trying it out. The little led light will be solid green when it is fully charged and ready to go.
Warranty – Lelo has a 1 year warranty that covers the mia 2. If it ever breaks or if it is louder than you thought you can just send it back. They aren’t as easy to work with as the people at Sweet Vibrations, but with some patience you will get a refund as long as it’s not over 1 year.
Couple Use – The lelo mia 2 can be fun to use with your partner too. Because of the way it’s shaped it easy for your partner to use it as an extension of their hand, guiding it with their index finger.
Pixie: Powerful But Quiet Vibrator
Usually one of the tricky parts about buying a sex toy is that they are non-returnable. But not the pixie. That’s one reason why it’s near the top of our list. The company Sweet Vibrations is as sweet and kind as their name suggests. They have a lifetime satisfaction guarantee. So if you get it and it dosen’t work with your body or if it isn’t quiet enough, you can return it, no questions asked. So this is a good one to start with because in the worst case scenario you can return it and look for a vibrator that is a better fit for you.
But chances are you won’t want to return it, this vibrator really packs a punch. The design lets it reach deeper around your clit without putting too much direct sensation. You can use the toy horizontally or vertically to get a different kind of pleasure.
Iroha Mini Vibe: A Quiet Waterproof Vibe
The Iroha mini was designed in japan and in addition to being quiet is one of the most giftable vibrators around.
Quiet – This toy is quiet because it is so well insulated by its thick exterior. If you put it under a blanket you can’t even hear it. This is a great vibrator if you share a room with someone in college and you want to masturbate while they are asleep.
Power – The Iroha mini has only one vibration setting and pattern. It is a medium strong on the scale of intensity. One of my friends had their magic wand break so I got them one of these for their birthday. She said it took a bit longer to build up to an O, but that that made it more enjoyable in its own way. I hope she wasn’t just being nice.
Even though there is one speed the button is very responsive and easy to press rapidly. You can use this to do a manual pulsing vibration.
You can use the narrow end for more direct stimulation or use the flat side to make the feeling more broad. Try tipping it upside down and moving it up and down to satisfy your clit and lips while giving awesome vibrations to your opening.
Battery – This does require 1 AAA battery and is not rechargeable. Expect it to last 1-3 months on a single battery depending on how much you use it.
Quieting the Vibrators You Already Own
If you already own a vibrator you might not need to buy another to make things quieter. Here are some ways to add some subtlety your vibrator of choice.
Turn on a fan - If you like to masturbate often you need to be one of those people who sleeps with a fan on. A fan can be loud enough to mask the sounds of a bullet vibrator at full throttle. Depending on your living situation, you can also add a fan in front of your door for extra cover.
Bathrooms - The bathroom is my go to happy place if I need some privacy. If your toy is waterproof like the Iroha Mini then take it in the shower or have a bath with it. The water will silence and mask any sound that tries to announce what you are up to.
Betty Dodson method - Wrap your vibrator in a towel. This will make your vibrator quiet and make strong vibrations more manageable, aka the Betty Dodson Method.
Extra blankets - The more blankets you can pile on you the quieter your vibrator will get. Especially if you can find some nice thick blankets. Throw in some pillows too, the bigger the better.
Wrap It Up - If you have something big like the magic wand you can make it more silent by wrapping the body up. Bubble wrap, cardboard, acoustic foam, and blankets all make effective silencers.
Play Some Music - If your roommates don't mind, try playing some music to mask the noise of your vibrator. Some electronic (and buzzy) music will hide it better than acoustic instrumentals.
Here are some tips to break the ice with your roommates and see if they're cool with you making a buzz in your room.
Make A Joke About It - Try to make a joke about vibrators: "You scared me. Now i'm shaking like a Lelo Mona 2". If she knows vibrator brands, then the word Lelo will perk her ears and you can both talk about how awesome the Lelo Mia 2 is. If she has no clue what you said just shrug it off, at least you have a better idea of how initiated she is into the sex toy scene.
Get Your Roommate a Vibrator - You can gift your roommate a vibrator and then you will both be doing it and it won't be so awkward.
Enjoy Some Peace and Quiet
Hopefully you discovered a new vibrator that is quiet enough you can enjoy using it. If you want to learn about other kinds of vibrators check out my other article on the best vibrators.