how to use toys

How to Use Sex Toys – A Guide to Using 8 Different Types of Sex Toys

63% of Americans own a sex toy of some kind, and that number is only growing bigger as society becomes more sex-positive. However, with so many different types of sexual toy on the market these days, it can be confusing to know exactly how to use sex toys.

Being the SexToyCollective, we decided to put together this guide to 8 common sex toy categories and how to use them. Whether you have a penis or a vulva, you'll find everything here from vibrators to anal beads and cock rings, so you'll be using sex toys like a pro in no time.

Let's get to it!

1. How to Use a Dildo

dildo

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, so it's important to find the right kind of dildo for you. If you're using a dildo to penetrate your vagina, make sure it's made from a body-safe material like silicone. If you're using a dildo anally, make sure it’s body-safe and also has a flared base so it can't accidentally slip inside your bottom during play.

Safety first!

Even if you're naturally moist, I would strongly recommend using a high-quality water-based lube on both the dildo and your vagina/anus to make things easier. Start slow, put on some relaxing music, and slowly introduce the dildo into your body. Don't go pounding away too quickly - get your body used to the size of the dildo, especially if it's big.

You can check out our lube guide for more information.

Once you feel that your body is relaxed and stretched out enough to accommodate the dildo, start to increase the speed and get a little rougher if that's how you like it. Also consider trying different positions - instead of using your hands, try balancing the dildo on the floor while you ride it or squat down onto it.

You could even practice blowjobs if you're that way inclined!

2. How to Use a Bullet Vibrator

Bullet vibrators are designed primarily for clitoral stimulation, meaning that you should focus on the external clitoris instead of putting them inside you. Hold these external clitoral toys against your clit and play around with the vibration settings until you find a vibration pattern and intensity that you like.

They feel like heaven.

If your clitoris is very sensitive, try using a bullet vibe against your clitoral hood or with other parts of your vulva. They're also great for teasing other erogenous zones like the nipples and inner thighs. I would also personally recommend using lube with bullet vibes, though some ladies prefer not to.

 Oh, and don't forget that bullet vibrators are one of the easiest toys to bring into the bedroom! 81% of women have brought a sex toy into the bedroom with their partner, so why not give it a try? Clitoral stimulation coupled with penetrative sex can be magical.

You can also get purpose-built couples vibrators like the WeVibe Chorus which are designed for vibrator sex with a partner.

3. How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator

Okay, so rabbit vibrators are sex toys designed to give you external clitoral stimulation and internal G-spot stimulation at the same time. These 2 pleasure zones on your body can combine to produce a "blended orgasm", where you experience 2 different types of female orgasm at the same time.

Fun stuff!

First, use the "bunny ears" to stimulate the clitoris and get those sexual juices flowing. When you feel turned on and ready, lube up the main shaft of the toy with some water-based lube and slowly insert it inside your vagina. Make sure that the tip of the shaft is angled toward your stomach, as this is the side of your body where the G-spot sits.

The design of the toy should make it clear how to insert a rabbit vibe.

Most rabbit vibrators have multiple settings to control the vibration of the bunny ears, as well as vibrations in the G-spot tip. Many of these toys will also have additional controls for rotations and swirls within the main shaft. Start small and slowly work your way up to more intense vibrations.

Don’t throw yourself in at the deep end (mild pun intended).

4. How to Use a Wand Vibrator

Hitachi Magic Wand

Wand vibrators like the famous Hitachi Magic Wand are known for their deep, rumbly vibrations. Wand vibrators are designed for external clitoral stimulation, though I have heard of some guys using them as penis vibrators as well, so there are many possibilities with these toys.

If you're using them on your clitoris, be sure to press them firmly against your body (if you're comfortable) to allow those deep vibrations to penetrate your deeper clitoral complex (your clit runs deeper than you think!) and get your hormones pumping.

You might even try using wand vibrators with a partner!

When using these sex toys, remember that they can start to make you feel numb after a while because of how strong they are. It's helpful to move them around different parts of your vulva to make sure that you keep feeling the vibrations and enjoying the fun.

Vibrating a numb pussy ain’t much fun.

5. How to Use A Butt Plug

anal butt plug

A butt plug could be used for many reasons - some people like them for sexual pleasure, some people use them for prostate stimulation, and some people use them to stretch their anus before anal sex. The best butt plugs are made from body-safe materials and have a flared base to stop them from getting trapped inside.

No one wants a trip to the ER!

 First, slowly insert 1 or 2 lubed-up fingers into your butthole. You can't just shove these sextoys straight up there without any warning - the anus needs time to stretch out and adjust. Once you've managed to get 2 or 3 lubed-up fingers comfortably inside your anus, it's time to move on to the butt plug.

If you're new to anal toys, I'd suggest a small silicone buttplug with an insertable length of 2-3 inches. Don't go using massive sex toys if you can't handle them!

Cover the butt plug in high-quality water-based lube and slowly begin to slide it inside you. It will feel very uncomfortable at first, but once you get the plug all the way inside, your anus will close over the skinny neck of the buttplug and it will begin to feel more natural.

Some buttplugs, like the Lovense Hush, are designed to be worn all day or for extended periods of time. For example, the Lovense Hush has a special spiral neck design which traps lube inside the sphincter and stops it from slipping out as easily.

6. How To Use A Prostate Massager

Aneros Helix Syn Trident Prostate Massager

Designed for people assigned male at birth, prostate massagers are toys that massage the prostate (go figure) also known as the P-spot or "Male G spot". The prostate is around 2-3 inches inside a man's anus, located on the anterior side of the body (toward the stomach). The prostate gland is around the size of a walnut.

And believe me when I say that prostate milking is awesome.

You can get vibrating and non-vibrating prostate toys, so I've split this into 2 sections:

Using vibrating prostate toys

These toys for sex do all the work for you once they're inserted. Lie on your back or your side and finger your butthole with 1 or 2 lubed-up fingers to get your bottom nice and relaxed. Once you feel that your butthole is a little looser and chilled out, slowly insert the toy with the prostate-massaging part bending toward your stomach.

Once it's hitting the spot, you'll know. Trust me.

When the toy is fully inserted, I'd suggest relaxing for a few minutes and "accepting" the toy into your body before using the vibrations. When you're ready, start to play with the different vibration settings until you find one that feels right for you.

Prostate vibrators can "shoot out" your anus if you set the vibrations too high, so just keep that in mind. This is because you instinctively clench your butt in response to the strong vibes.

Using non-vibrating prostate massagers

Surely a sex toy is better if it vibrates? Well, not necessarily. In my experience, prostate massagers are better when they don't vibrate at all. Aneros is a company that famously makes non-vibrating prostate toys that are known to give guys multiple male orgasms and even "Super O" trance-like orgasms.

Believe me, these orgasms make jacking off seem boring.

Basically, you warm up your anus by fingering yourself with 1 or 2 lubed-up fingers until your ass is relaxed and loosened. Then, you insert the massager with the tip pointing toward your stomach when it's inside you. Now you need to learn how to use your sphincter and pelvic floor muscles to move the massager around on your P-spot.

You'll feel it!

To put it simply, the pelvic floor muscles (or "Kegel muscles") are the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when you pee. Your sphincter muscles are what you use to clench your butthole. By playing around with relaxation techniques and these muscles, you can have some truly otherworldly orgasms.

I recently reviewed the Aneros Helix Syn Trident (a non-vibrating prostate toy) and went into more detail about the best techniques for multiple male orgasms.

7. How to Use a Cock Ring

Cock rings are favored by men with erectile dysfunction or people with penises who just want to get as hard as possible and stay hard for as long as possible! Most cock rings look like simple rubber bands, but they're designed to limit blood flow to the penis when erect. The idea is that you get an erection, put on a cock ring, and then "trap" the blood flow in the cock.

Who doesn’t want a rock-hard boner?

Most of these sex toys should be put on when you've already got an erection - you place the ring around the base of the shaft of your penis. Some "double cock rings" may also be designed to go around the balls too, or perhaps have a second ring designed to go around the balls separately.

As with most sex toys, I'd recommend using a little lube here.

DO NOT wear a cock ring for more than 30 minutes - the lack of bloodflow could start to cause serious damage.

You can also get couples cock rings designed to be used with a partner. These are usually vibrating cock rings that stimulate the clitoris of a partner as you're having penetrative sex. Every time you thrust into them, they receive pleasure from your penis and clitoral pleasure from the vibrations of the cock ring. Good stuff.

It's a very sexy toy for couples!

8. How to Use Anal Beads

Everyone has a bum, so anal beads are a universal toy for sex that everyone can enjoy. Great to use solo or with a partner, these beads are designed to make your orgasms more intense when you're climaxing. The idea is that you pull the beads out slowly as you're nearing orgasm - the orgasmic sensations will suddenly be more intense.

It sounds like a faff, but it’s worth it.

First, you should consider douching your ass, especially if your beads are quite long. We have a great anal douching guide if you feel the need to clean your bottom beforehand. Once that's done, lube up 1 or 2 of your fingers and slowly insert them into your ass, getting used to the sensations and allowing the anus to relax.

The anus isn't as "ready for sex" as a vagina, so take your time.

Once you're relaxed, lube up the beads and slowly insert them, one by one. Only insert as many as you feel comfortable with - there's no need to insert them all. Once the beads are inside you, you probably won't feel them much unless they're very large.

Whether you're using them solo or with a partner, you need to remember to SLOWLY pull them out as you're nearing climax. This will make your orgasm feel more intense, whatever anatomy you have. DO NOT yank these sex toys out quickly unless you enjoy awkward trips to the ER.

Cum-clusion

Hopefully you've learned a thing or two about using sex toys and having sex with toys too. Whether you're using a sex toy solo or with a partner, just remember to stay safe, follow the instructions, and have fun!

From rabbit vibes to butt plugs, there's more than one way to spice up your sex life using sex toys!

About The Author ~ J.C. Way


I’ve never been afraid to stick things up my butt or pop my cock into something – why wouldn’t you want to make your sex life better? I aim to smash down stigmas and introduce men and women to sex toys that change their lives.

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