How to Use A Vibrator

If you walk into a sex store or look at sex toy websites online, you can find vibrators for beginners, vibrators for couples, egg vibrators, vibrating rabbit toys, and so much more. It can be a little bit intimidating when you’re browsing for your first vibrator and you’re bombarded with a sea of contorted vibrating plastic, but we’re here to clear things up.

Only around 25% of women can orgasm from intercourse alone,
 so it’s incredibly common to find women using vibrators on their own or during creative sex positions with their partner.

A Brief History of Vibrators

Adult vibrators have the potential to deliver intense and powerful vibrator orgasms to women and people with vaginas, but it wasn’t always so easy to find a cornucopia of different vibes to choose from. 

Back in the 1960s, when the sex-positive feminist movement was starting to take hold, an open-minded sex educator called Betty Dodson discovered that a Japanese product intended as a back massager could actually double up as an intense clitoral stimulator, helping many women to reach their first orgasms in a time before vibrators existed.

Betty Dodson, sometimes called “The Godmother of Masturbation” used to hold masturbation classes in her New York apartment in the 1960s and 1970s. She continues to teach sexual wellness today at the age of 89.

Since then, vibes have been talked about in Sex and the City to the point where they sell out; they’ve been discussed on Oprah Winfrey as a sex aid for teens, and they’ve been a major plot point in the Netflix series "Grace and Frankie" featuring Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. 

Now we’re at a point where there are multiple different styles of vibrator on the market, which segues nicely into our next section…

Different types of vibrators you may be using

If you take a look at something like LoveHoney’s "Vibrator Finder" guide, you’ll see that vibrators come in many different shapes and sizes depending on their intended purpose. Here we’ll give you a lowdown of the main types of vibes you’ll probably come across (pun intended!)

Vibrating Bullets

Pros: Small and discreet
Cons: Limited orgasm capabilities
Best For: First-timers and on-the-go

Vibrating bullets are small bullet-shaped sex toys which are designed for external stimulation on your clitoris. Their small size makes them discreet and portable, so they’re handy for when you’re traveling. Cheaper models will usually just come with 1 standard “constant vibration” setting, whereas more advanced vibrating bullets might come with 10 or more vibration strengths/patterns to peruse.

Although a small plastic bullet-shaped vibrator doesn’t scream “I’M A SEX TOY!”, people are likely to know what they are unless they’ve been living in a cave for the past 30 years. One time my dad found mine and pretended to be clueless, but he totally knew what it was. Excuse me while I die of shame. You can get lipstick vibrators if you’re really worried about privacy, so that’s always a good low-key option.


Egg Vibrators

Pros: Simple, large vibration area, good for couples
Cons: Lack of G-spot stimulation
Best for: Kinky couples and solo experimentation 

Egg vibrators (sometimes called “love eggs” or similar) are egg-shaped sex toys
which are designed to be placed inside the vagina like a tampon and held in place by your muscles. They usually feature a little string or handle to help you pull them out after use. Most egg vibrators come with a remote control (usually wireless) which can be used to change the pulses and vibration settings as you or your partner desire.

“Classic” Vibrators

Pros: Familiar phallic shape, reminiscent of penetrative sex
Cons: Not ideal for clitoral or G-spot stimulation 
Best For: Progressing from dildos to vibes

The term “classic” is a bit vague, but this basically refers to penis-like and dildo-style vibrators which are… well… shaped a bit like a cock. In other words, they’re similar to a penis in length and girth, so they’re great if you’re using to playing with dildos but want to try introducing vibrations into the mix. They’re often a woman’s first vibrator, but bear in mind that they don’t stimulate the G-spot or clitoris very easily if you’re using them in a traditional penetrative sex fashion.


Vibrating Wands

Pros: Deep internal massage, intense body-wide sensations
Cons: Expensive and require technique
Best For: Intermediate and advanced masturbators

If you’re looking for your first vibrator, don’t jump straight to vibrating wands because they might terrify you! These wonderful sex toys are designed to stimulate deep down into the clitoral complex, driving powerful sensations into your crotch. There are many vibrating wands on the market, but the Hitachi Magic Wand Massager is the back-massager-turned-adult-vibrator that started it all.


Rabbit Sex Toys

Pros: Intense, blended orgasms, stimulate both G spots!
Cons: Expensive
Best For: Women who struggle to orgasm

Rabbit sex toys are uniquely designed to stimulate both the clitoris and G-spot, leading to dual G-spot stimulation orgasms sometimes referred to as "blended orgasms". Their design features an internal dildo-like main body which enters the vagina and stimulates the internal G-spot by vibrating, pulsating, or twisting (depending on the model) and then there are external “bunny ears” which vibrate across the clitoris at the same time, causing clitoral stimulation. 

Charlotte from Sex and the City, who is normally very prudish, became addicted to her rabbit vibrator after experiencing intense orgasms from it. I’m aware it’s fiction, but I went through a similar experience with my first rabbit! Once you know how to use rabbit vibrators, there’s no looking back.

How to use a vibrator

Don’t just throw something at your vagina and hope for the best – there is a fine art to using a vibrator, where you’re doing in internally, externally, solo, or with a partner. Here we break down the basics for solo vibrator play and using vibrators for couples play.

Solo

First of all, make sure that you’re horny before using a vibrator. Like with sex, your body isn’t going to be naturally aroused and lubricated if you’re not “in the mood” to play with yourself. If it helps you, trying teasing your body with the vibrator by moving it around erogenous zones like your nipples, ass, feet, and inner thighs. Perhaps watch porn or read erotica to get yourself in the mood!

If you’re using a vibrator toy with different settings, start on a low setting so that you can get used to it. Lube up your vagina/clitoris and the toy with water-based lube which will make it easier to glide around your most sensitive parts without dragging or becoming uncomfortable. 

Start to explore using the vibe on your clitoris and labia, exploring the sensations it creates within your body. If you’re using a vibrator which can go inside you, then perhaps try to gently insert it into your vagina on a low-level setting, getting accustomed to the feel of the pulsations inside your body. Depending on the model you’re using, you may be able to try exploring your internal G-spot.

The internal female G spot is located at the roof of the vagina, around 2-3 inches inside. Its location makes it near-impossible to reach with fingers alone.

Once you become more comfortable with the vibrator and how it makes your body feel, you might want to try upping the vibration strength or changing the pattern that it’s using. Many men and women using sex toys that vibrate find that the “revving” vibration settings are most pleasurable because constant uninterrupted vibration can make you feel a little numb.

As a couple

Introducing a male partner to “vibrator sex” can make him feel insecure, so you’ll have to bring up the concept of sex with a vibrator carefully. Perhaps explain that a vibe will help you to reach climax more consistently. 

There are many different ways to have sex with a vibrator as a couple. For example, you can get vibrating cock rings which house bullet vibrators, helping you to receive clitoral stimulation while his penis does the internal work. On the other hand, if he/she is a bit of a voyeur, they might enjoy watching you use a vibrator on yourself while they masturbate. If there’s a wireless remote control, they might also like controlling your internal pleasure.

You can also get “Wifi vibrators” and “Bluetooth vibrators” like the Lush 2 by Lovense which allow your partner to deliver intense orgasmic sensations to your downstairs region while you’re 10 yards or 10,000 miles away. These Wifi vibrators are popular among long-distance couples or for partners who often travel for business trips and whatnot. They also give you the power to deliver sexual pleasure to your partner as they go about their day, which is a turn-on for some.

I do find discreet wifi vibrators erotic, but I’m not sure if I want to be in the queue at Starbucks when I’m suddenly struck by intense sexual pleasure. They’ll never get my name for the cup if I’m screaming.

There are some creative sex positions involving vibrators too. For example, you could “69” with your partner and he/she could stimulate your clitoris with a powerful vibe while you give them oral pleasure. Don’t forget also that you can use a vibrator on a penis – the male frenulum or “F spot” is very sensitive to pulses from vibrators for men and women. 

Quick tips for using a vibrator

Still having problems? Not sure what to do? Here are some general vibrator tips!

1. Buy from reputable manufacturers. Cheap and poorly-made vibrators are likely to deliver a subpar experience, so always check the consumer reviews and buy from well-known sex toy producers. Well-made adult vibrators will probably result in a better overall experience. Look for skin-safe and hypoallergenic materials like medical-grade silicone. 

2. Use water-based lube. Using lube will help to increase your sensitivity and stop any discomfort. Water-based lube can be used with pretty much all sex toys – avoid silicone-based lube if the vibe is made from silicone, as it will destroy the toy. 

3. Don’t use them for anal play. Unless your sex toy is specifically designed for anal play, don’t put it inside your anus unless it has a flared base which stops it from getting stuck inside your ass by accident. Also, NEVER switch a sex toy from your anus to your vagina, as bacteria from your anal tract could cause infections in your vagina.

4. Keep them discreet when traveling. If you’re taking a vibe through the airport, the last thing you want to happen is for it to accidentally go off in your bag. If you’re using a battery-powered vibe, take the batteries out in transit. If you’re using a rechargeable vibe, most will have a “locked mode” which stops them from being turned on easily as they bump around in your luggage. 

5. Make sure it’s clean! If you’re not sure how to clean your vibrator, check the manufacturer’s instructions and be sure to clean it thoroughly after/before every use. Sometimes you can use simple warm soap and water, while others may require sex toy cleaners and fancy sex wipes. 

Conclusion

A study from 2009 found that approximately 52% of US women use vibrators, so you’re certainly not alone in your quest for female sexual pleasure. In fact, flashing forward to the present day, I’d put money on it that that percentage is even higher nowadays. For some women, their first-ever orgasm came from a vibrator, so don’t fret if one of these powerful toys awakens new erotic sensations inside your body!

About The Author ~ Amelie, Sex Toy Tester


Amelie is a sociology major with a passion for studying the experiences of BDSM-oriented people.   In 2017 she completed her thesis on the ritualized nature of conscious kink, and has been working as a freelance writer since.

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