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10 Best Cougar Sites For Dating Older Women (or Younger Men)

There’s a cougar for every cub out there. But if you’re actually looking into cougar dating, you might not find the right fit on regular dating sites.

The best cougar sites this year are at the forefront of including and promoting this dating lifestyle, whether you’re a mature mama or a young thing looking for one. 

From premium cougar dating sites to free cougar apps, we detail the ins and outs of each dating platform for you.

Whatever your reasons are for entering cougar territory, you’re in for a wild ride with our list of the best cougar sites to date older women or younger men.

Let’s go!

Best Cougar Sites and Apps in 2023

First Look

  1. Ashley MadisonBest cougar site overall
  2. Cougar LifeLargest cougar dating site
  3. Adult Friend FinderBest cougar site for hookups
  4. Elite SinglesSophisticated dating
  5. Victoria MilanWhere affairs meet cougars
  6. eHarmonyFind high-quality profiles
  7. Plenty of FishBig number of users
  8. Singles 50Authentic, mature singles over 50
  9. Silver SinglesSerious dates for people in their 50s
  10. TinderBiggest online dating app

1. Ashley Madison – Best Cougar Site Overall


  • Over 70 million members
  • Best for extramarital affairs
  • Downloadable iOS & Android app
  • Accepts retailer cards for membership upgrade
  • Intuitive user interface


  • Reports of fake accounts
  • Men need to buy credits for messaging

Best Features

  • Stealth mode to hide app on phone
  • Travel Man mode to meet cougars and cubs far away
  • Women can send messages for free

Life is short. Have an affair.

Ashley Madison is for people looking to have secret relationships with someone married or in a relationship. So, if you’re stuck in a lifeless marriage and want to spice things up with people significantly older or younger, this is the dating website and app for you.

You can create an anonymous profile and blur your photos to ensure no one you know will see you on the site. You can also select users who can see what you look like. 

And if you travel a lot, you can also look for profiles miles away so you can set a date with someone at your next destination.

Worried about your significant other finding out you’re on the app? You can use stealth mode to hide the app on your device, making it one of the best cougar sites for discreet fun.

Membership Rates

A premium membership lets you get credit packages you can use to send unlimited messages, virtual gifts, and boost your profile. Here are all the credit package options:

  • Premium Basic (100 credits): $49
  • Premium Classic (500 credits): $149
  • Premium Elite (1,000 credits):  $249

2. Cougar Life – Best Dedicated Cougar Dating Site


  • Over 5 million members
  • For short-term and long-term relationships
  • High-quality profiles
  • Easy-to-use dating website and app
  • Excellent customer support


  • No app for Android
  • Basic search filters

Best Features

  • Set up private keys for your photos
  • Send winks to signal interest to members
  • Females can send chats for free

Dating a cougar might still be taboo for some, but 5,000,000+ active members can’t be wrong! If you’re ready to catch a cougar or two, you must visit Cougar Life.

Cougar Life has to be one of the oldest and most popular sites, offering a platform for older women (cougars) and younger men (tomcats or cubs). This is a niche dating site catering specifically to these kinds of relationships. 

It’s not a site where you can sign up and message anyone who catches your fancy. It’s designed specifically to bring cougars and tomcats together. So, if you’re looking for something more serious, this might be the site you’ve been waiting for.

You can use the website or download the iOS app for free with limited features. However, you’ll need to get credits to be able to see all your profile views, send unlimited messages, and boost your profile to get more matches.

Still, it’s one of the best cougar sites online, and one of the few to be dedicated exclusively to cougar dating.

Membership Rates

This dating app has a credit system. So, you’ll need to get credits to be able to start conversations and highlight your profile to get more matches:

  • Basic (100 Credits): $29.99
  • Classic (500 Credits): $99.99
  • Elite (1,000 Credits): $149.99

3. Adult Friend Finder – Best Cougar Site for Hookups


  • Over 4 million active members
  • Mobile-friendly version
  • Responsive customer support team
  • High-quality profiles
  • Balanced female-to-male ratio


  • Free version is full of ads
  • No smart matching system

Best Features

  • Online magazine for dating advice and tips
  • Watch live cams from models and other users
  • Join sex communities and forums

Cougar dating doesn’t need to be serious. 

Yes, with age comes experience (in the bedroom, in this case), and cubs are looking for cougar women to see what the fuss is about. If you’re looking for casual sex, Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is the best cougar site for you.

You’ll have to go elsewhere if you’re keen on serious relationships. This is more of a sex site where you can meet hot cougars and cubs with which you can have some fun online or in person.

AFF is also one of the best adult dating sites where you can find women of any age, and it’s awarded by some of the biggest names in the adult industry, like GFY, YNot, and XBiz

Read our full Adult Friend Finder review for more.

Membership Rates

To be able to send unlimited messages and use AFF’s instant chat feature, you can upgrade to a premium membership:

  • 1 month: $39.95 per month
  • 3 months: $26.95 per month
  • 12 months: $19.95 per month

4. Elite Singles – Best Cougar Dating App for the Sophisticated 


  • Easy-to-use dating app
  • Good for a serious relationship
  • Frequently reviews the legitimacy of profiles
  • Get a dating coach
  • Great matching system


  • Glitchy web version
  • Limited matches per day

Best Features

  • Take a comprehensive personality test
  • High-compatible matches daily
  • Get info on the nearest speed dating events

Getting tired of dull profiles that don’t tell anything about a potential match? 

Elite Singles lets you get a good glimpse of your potential matches. While it’s not exactly a niche dating site for cougars and cubs, you can use the search feature to only see profiles based on age range.

The app also lets you search for other preferences like location, height, ethnicity, desire to have children, education, and income. 

That’s why it’s a premiere dating platform for sophisticated people. You can be very picky with your matches, so you only connect with someone you might be truly interested in. Free accounts only get 3 to 7 high-compatible matches daily. 

You’ll need a premium membership to get more. 

Want to go out and meet someone outside the app? Elite Singles has partnered with CitySwoon to give details on in-person speed dating events in select cities.

It’s best to download the mobile app version of this dating platform because the web version can sometimes be glitchy and not load properly. So while it’s not designed as a cougar dating site, it can certainly be used to connect with older women and younger men.

Just be upfront about what you’re looking for!

Membership Rates

To unlock the full features of Elite Singles, including unlimited messaging and viewing all photos uploaded by other members, you need to get a premium membership:

  • 3 months – $57.95 per month
  • 6 months – $44.95 per month
  • 12 months – $31.95 per month

5. Victoria Milan – Best Cougar Site for “Attached” Dating


  • Over 9 million members
  • Privacy and discretion guaranteed
  • Create an anonymous profile
  • Verified profiles
  • Balanced female-to-male member ratio


  • Reports of fake profiles
  • Only for nearby dating

Best Features

  • Extensive search filters for looks and lifestyle
  • Blur your photos to stay anonymous
  • Notification for current profile viewer

Another cougar dating site comparable to Ashley Madison is Victoria Milan. It’s geared towards having affairs and polyamorous relationships, so if you’re looking for this kind of thrill, it’s a site worth trying.

You can easily find cougars and cubs by browsing through profiles based on age range and doing a little bit of digging.

You can also create an anonymous profile since you can blur your photos or put a mask on your face. So, you can select which users can see what you look like to avoid getting recognized by people you might know in person.

What’s nice about Victoria Milan is that you will get a pop-up notification once a user browses your profile. However, if that person messages you, you’ll need to have a premium account to see the message and reply.

Also, if you’re a traveler, you won’t be able to see members outside your country. This is only for people looking to date nearby. Still, it’s one of the best cougar sites for keeping things on the down-low or exploring swinging and polyamory.

Get into it!

Membership Rates

While you can use Victoria Milar for free, you need to upgrade to premium to send unlimited chats, ask for private photos, send unlimited winks and likes, and send virtual gifts. Here are the premium rates at Victoria Milan:

  • 1 month: $49.99
  • 3 months: $49.99/mo
  • 6 months: $39.99/mo
  • 1 year: $29.99/mo

6. eHarmony – High-Quality Dating Pool


  • Over 21 million members
  • Good for long-term relationships
  • Balance female-to-male ratio
  • Modern user interface
  • Lots of success stories


  • Lengthy sign-up process
  • Limited searching outside daily matches


  • Compatibility quiz for comprehensive personality profile
  • Free weekends: use full features for no cost
  • Send automated questions to multiple matches

Cougar dating or not, you’ve probably heard of eHarmony. It’s a well-established dating site for someone who wants a serious relationship. Many users have shared their eHarmony success stories online.

Users are obliged to answer a personality quiz, hence the long sign-up process. However, it shouldn’t be such a bad thing since you can be presented with high-compatibility daily matches.

So, all your matches are predicted based on the 150 questions you answered. If you want to explore outside of that, your options are pretty limited since you can only go through 30 random profiles a day with a premium account.

Want to try a premium eHarmony account for free? 

There are weekends when the site allows members to use premium features at no cost. Unfortunately, it’s unpredictable when these weekends are, so you can only really wait for free weekend announcements.

Membership Rates

eHarmony’s premium membership lets you access the site’s full features, including unlimited viewing of photos, profile views, and search for profiles based on distance. Here are the premium rates you can choose from:

  • Premium Light (6 Months) – $65.90/month 
  • Premium Plus (1 Year) – $45.90/month 
  • Premium Extra (2 Years) – $35.90/month

7. Plenty of Fish – Millions of Registered Profiles


  • Over 90 million users
  • Android and iOS app 
  • Free messaging
  • Wide variety of members


  • Can’t search for profiles in other states
  • Reports of fake accounts

Best Features

  • Messaging prompts for interesting conversations
  • “Will Respond” badge to get sure replies
  • Advanced search filters

Plenty of Fish (POF) has been online since 2003, with over 90 million registered users. Paid messaging can be annoying when joining the biggest dating sites for cougars and cubs nowadays, but you can avoid it here.

POF lets members send messages for free, which is generally a good thing. 

However, this could also mean that you can get spammy messages. Some users claim they would get chats from fake profiles, which is the downside of this feature.

Also, it’s for people looking for cougars and cubs nearby since you can only browse through profiles within your location.

Membership Rates

Upgrading to a premium membership at POF lets you access the full profile of other users, enable read receipts, and upload up to 16 photos. You can get a premium account with these rates:

  • Premium 3 months – $20.94 per month
  • Premium 6 months – $15.70 per month
  • Premium 12 months – $10.47 per month

8. Singles 50 – Cougar Dating Site For Over 40 Cubs


  • Best for companionship or serious dating
  • For women over 40 years old
  • Can video call other members
  • Easy-to-navigate user interface


  • Not for cubs below 40
  • Long sign-up process

 Best Features

  • Answer a personality test for better matchmaking
  • Icebreaker questions for compelling convos
  • Control who can view your photos

Singles 50 is an online dating app for daters above 50. However, it also accepts members at least 40 years old. 

This dating app and site are not exactly advertised as one of the best cougar sites, but this is where seasoned daters are. The site is filled with mature women and younger guys looking for companionship, serious relationships, and even marriage.

The main catch? Men have to be at least 40 to join this site, so the age difference might not be huge.

You must answer a long series of questionnaires to get the right matches here. There are lots of success stories from members finding a lifetime companion here. Conversations are rarely dull since you can use icebreaker questions as well.

Membership Rates:

With a premium Singles 50 account, you can make video calls and send unlimited messages to other premium members. Here are the membership rates on this site:

  • 1 month: $59.99
  • 3 months: $39.99/mo
  • 6 months: $19.99/mo 

9. Silver Singles – Best Cougar Site for Over 50s


  • Easy-to-navigate mobile app
  • High-quality profiles
  • Automatic ban on suspicious accounts
  • App for divorced and widowers
  • Get a dating coach


  • Free account won’t let you send chats
  • Restricted profile photo viewing for free users

Best Features

  • Hire a professional to write your bio
  • Comprehensive personality test for the perfect match
  • Send free smiles to let them know you’re interested

Another cougar dating app for people in their 50s is Silver Singles. It does seem like the older you get, the deeper connections you prefer because, on this dating app, personality matters a lot. 

When you sign up, you’ll need to answer a long personality test so they can find you matches that can last. This may not be a good choice if you’re looking for a casual date.

Need help setting up your profile? You can ask a professional to write your bio for you. It’s a paid service that can cost $99. Quite a lot, but it can help your profile become more interesting so you can get more messages.

Membership Rates:

A premium membership at Silver Singles lets you access other users’ profile photos and enable read receipts for the messages you send. You can use such features with these rates:

  • Premium classic – $49.95/mo
  • Premium light – $37.95/mo
  • Premium comfort – $27.95/mo

10. Tinder – Most Popular Dating Site and App for All


  • Over 75 million members worldwide
  • Balanced female-to-male ratio
  • Inclusive platform
  • For any type of relationships


  • Matches can be very random
  • No advanced search filters


  • Festival mode for meeting people at events
  • Passport feature to search profiles worldwide
  • Super Boost to get 100x more potential matches

Tinder is one of the more modern online dating websites and apps you can use, and it’s not exclusive to the younger generation. One of the best hookup apps of all time, it’s also a good place for older women to meet young men in particular.

It’s worth saying that Tinder allows users to set age range preferences, meaning that you (and others) will only match if you’re in each others’ age range… so in essence, it can function as a cougar dating app.

Tinder has a reputation for being only good for casual relationships, so keep that in mind. Still, it’s worth a shot looking for something serious here if that’s what you’re into at the moment. 

It always depends on who you meet anyway!

Many don’t know that premium Tinder subscriptions used to be more expensive for older members, but they got called out for this, so they changed the rates this year. So that’s just something to bear in mind!

Membership Rates:

To use fun features like Passport and Super Boost, here are the membership rates at Tinder:

  • Tinder PLUS: $9.99/mo
  • Tinder Gold: $29.99/mo
  • Tinder Platinum: $39.99/mo

How to be Successful Dating a Cougar – 5 Tips

Okay, we’ve gone over the best cougar sites, but how do you use them?

Cougar dating is defined as a relationship between older women and younger men. Many still see this as a type of sugar dating, but not really. There are many successful mature dating stories where cubs are actually in love with their older partners.

RELATED: Best Sugar Baby Sites

Some of these couples are only into casual dating and don’t necessarily have to end up in a committed relationship, either. So, what could help make this sort of relationship work? Here are some expert cougar dating tips to keep in mind:

1. Find Out What Your Partner is Exactly Looking For

Just because older women are on dating apps doesn’t mean they’re automatically looking for cubs – unless you’re on literal cougar dating apps like Cougar Life. Sometimes it takes a while to warm up to men younger than them. 

It’s best to be direct and ask if an older woman is keen on dating younger men. Also, be clear if you’re looking for something casual or serious. 

2. What Your Friends Think Matters

Women in their 40s or above are not easily influenced by random opinions. However, what her close friends have to say may matter a lot. That said, cubs are expected to make an effort and make their partner’s friends feel good about them.

The last thing you want is for her friends to tell her to leave you because they think you’re only taking advantage of her.

3. Older Women are Generally Independent

Younger people tend to be clingy when they are in a relationship. As people age, this is something that could be a deal breaker. Generally, women often become more independent as they age, so you need to be mature.

Respect her time for herself. If she has hobbies like taking yoga classes or wants a quiet night to herself, don’t find a way to ruin that. Instead, talk about your schedules and set boundaries.

4. Try Not to Focus on Your Age Difference

Age is just a number, so don’t dwell on it. 

Don’t gloat about how inexperienced you are in life or the bedroom if you’re the cub. If you’re the older person in the relationship, you might be more in control of trying to bridge the gap with your younger partner.

You can always teach him a thing or two and not make him feel bad for not knowing them. Sensitivity is always good in any type of relationship, whether you met on the best cougar sites or anywhere else.

5. It’s Not All About Sex

Cubs are naturally more excited to get into bed with attractive older women because they tend to be more experienced. However, it’s not all about having sex (unless stated otherwise). Since she’s more mature, she might be involved with you even outside the bedroom.

Older women might have the wisdom to share simple advice that cubs can take as they navigate through life. It’s one of the perks of dating a mature woman: you can get great pieces of life advice and tips.

Check out the RAINN guide to Online Dating and Dating App Safety if you’re new to cougar dating apps.

Best Cougar Dating Sites FAQs

How Do I Get a Cougar?

You can get a cougar by joining the best cougar dating sites like Ashley Madison, Cougar Life, and AdultFriendFinder. These cougar sites differ because Ashley Madison is for people looking for secret affairs, while AdultFriendFinder is mainly for casual encounters.

Cougar Life is ultimately for mature women and younger men who want to connect. However, this site is for anything goes, so whether you’re looking for a quick hookup with older women or a long-term partner, this platform is for you.

What Is a Cub in Dating?

A cub in dating terms is a younger guy (usually under 30) who’s not married and has no children. They are younger men looking to date significantly older women who are usually divorced, widowed, or with kids.

Basically, these young men are chasing “cougars”.

Are There Any Free Cougar Dating Sites?

There are many free cougar dating sites. 

All the ones we listed above (Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison, Cougar Life) are free to use but have features only paying members can use. 

If you want a 100% free cougar dating site, you can check forums or communities like Reddit’s Cougars and Cubs subreddit… but the features are much more limited than paid cougar dating sites.

How Do I Find a Cougar Near Me?

You can find a cougar near you using cougar dating apps and sites like Cougar Life or Ashley Madison. These cougar dating apps and sites can find matches based on your location. 

Some cougar dating sites also let you filter matches based on kilometers or distance.

What’s the Best Cougar Dating Site?

It’s no secret that when it comes to dating, there’s always been a double standard when it comes to age difference. For some reason, men are doing great if they’re dating younger women, but older women dating younger men are eyed differently.

It’s not fair!

Well, times are changing, and people should stick to minding their own business anyway. Women are more empowered to date anyone they want, and if you’re up for meeting younger men, we hope this list helped you.

Be sure to drop by some of the best cougar websites like Ashley Madison, Cougar Life, and AdultFriendFinder to see what the excitement is all about with age gap dating, secretly or not. With all of these cougar dating sites, we hope you find what you need.

Good luck out there on your cougar/cub dating journey!